Café à emporter
by InnuEndoBRC
Summary: Mac and Dick get to know each other, but things go south when they get too close. Can they push their fears aside to see if something real is left?
1. Chapter 1

Mac was glad when Veronica and Logan decided to take their make out session into the other room. It was getting a bit hot and heavy and she had her fill of that from the tv. All she wanted to do was watch _Serenity_ in, well, serenity. Wallace had passed out a few hours ago, but she appreciated the effort.

Normally she wouldn't be spending her evening at the beach house, but she had been kicked out of her apartment for a few days thanks to some lovely water damage caused by the Hearst guys living upstairs. The plan was to spend time with Veronica, but that had quickly turned into everyone camping out at the much bigger beach house. The last time Logan was in town he and Veronica had barely left her place, but he was making an effort to spend more time with his best bro while he was home and so the couple had moved between places more regularly. Thankfully Dick was out on the town tonight and Mac could enjoy their comfy spare room without dealing with the loud surfer.

Even with Dick gone, however, Mac was not thrilled about spending the next few days with the super happy, adorably in love, oh my god I'm going to vomit if you make kissy sounds at each other one more time couple. She had begged Wallace to come over to make it more of a fun group hangout situation, but not even his snide comments had come between the reunited lovers. Once Wallace had fallen asleep on the couch it was really just beyond rude for them to continue their groping in front of Mac, and it seems they finally figured that out.

Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled when Logan burst out of his room and stumbled in front of the television. She was pretty sure his underwear were on backwards so she made the effort to look him straight in the eyes and to not think about what he was doing before so rudely interrupting her.

"Mac, can you do me like this hugish favor?" Her eyes narrowed. "Well, it's just, well… Dick got pulled over again. Reckless driving – shocking I know. But it's his third pull in I don't know how many days and they took his license, so he needs bail and a ride." Mac stared at him, her eyes narrowing farther before she directed her attention back to the screen, trying to look around Logan's bottom half. "I know it's like a huge favor, and I would owe you big." Mac didn't move. "It's just, well you know Veronica and I haven't had like any quality time lately-" she snorted, "and well, Wallace is totally passed out."

On cue, Wallace let out a thundering snore. Mac would bet money he was hearing this whole conversation. "Seriously, here's some cash to bail him out with, and you totally keep the change. Really. And I still owe you like one huge one." Mac looked at the wad of bills while Logan gave her his biggest puppy dog eyes – usually reserved for her bestie. She inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and let it out, imagining what the Captain would do for his friends. Not that Dick was exactly a friend, but if Veronica didn't come out to beg she must really be in the middle of something. Well, at least she could stop pretending she couldn't hear what the loving couple was up to for a little bit.

"Fine, but I don't want your stupid money. You owe me TWO big."

Logan grinned, "Thanks Mac, you're the best!" She was pretty sure she actually _heard_ Wallace's smirk.

* * *

It wasn't until she was halfway to the station that she started feeling the bubbling of anxiety in her stomach that she often felt when she was in Dick's company, especially when they were alone, not that it happened often. After Veronica transferred, she would see him and Logan occasionally but she had her own group of friends from the computer department, plus Wallace, Piz and Parker, none of whom made a habit of fraternizing the Pi Sig house. It wasn't that she minded Dick, or even disliked him, she really didn't, even though it was clear Veronica hated him. Mac was pretty sure she knew why, although she didn't really get why it had lasted so long, especially when it was clear he looked after Logan, but Mac also didn't think it was her place to defend Dick.

She hadn't given him much thought since college, honestly. She had on rare occasion spoken to Logan by email but neither he nor Dick was big into social media, for obvious reasons, so she didn't keep up with them like some of the other people she knew from school. Sure, she had googled Dick occasionally, on certain days of the year when she felt the need to check and make sure he was still alive. He always was, as far as she could tell, but she really didn't feel the need to know more than that. What would the internet tell her, that he was happy? Over it? Moved on with life as though Cassidy never happened? Doubtful.

She wasn't surprised to see Dick at the reunion, open bar and all, but she also wasn't prepared for it. Sure, seeing him brought back the bad memories of Cassidy, but also the comfort of a shared secret, a camaraderie of sorts. Hearing Gia break babble like an idiot in front of Veronica she almost felt normal with him there. Not that Dick ever acknowledged anything like that, but something about his presence made her feel the slightest bit lighter, like she wasn't alone in the nightmares she still had. Like it all really happened and he had been there, he knew.

Sure Veronica knew too, but Veronica wasn't fooled. Not like she and Dick were. Veronica didn't still sometimes think about Cassidy, some funny or good memory bringing a smile to her face only to be followed by the shock of the truth revealing itself again. She knew Dick probably did.

The thing about Dick that made her nervous... no, anxious was a better word… was just that she never knew what was going to come out of his mouth. He had said horrible things to her in the past, and she knew logically that those things had way more to do with Cassidy than with her, but they still hurt. She wasn't mad at him for it though. Truthfully, she figured that if him hurting her made him feel better she could handle that, that he had too much pain to bear and if she could take a little weight off him she was strong enough to do it. Maybe it was weird logic, but she just couldn't bring herself to hate the guy no matter what he said to her. He was just too sad without his little brother, too vulnerable. She'd never been one to want to make someone suffer, and Dick seemed to have more than his share, so she just let it go.

Besides, she actually found him kinda funny when he wasn't being cruel, not that she would ever mention that to Veronica. She particularly liked his shirt that proclaimed him as the #1 Star Wars Fan, right above a picture of the Enterprise. It was the closest to nerd he got and she couldn't help but think that all he really was was a fan of lightsabers and gold bikinis.

She saw him more now that Veronica was back, especially since Logan had returned from active duty, but it was never just the two of them. Nothing but general pleasantries had been exchanged, the occasional "Who wants a beer" if they were all hanging out. It wasn't that she disliked talking to Dick, she just really never knew what to say. He was like a time bomb with her, most things would roll off him but at some unforeseen moment he was bound to go off. Sometimes he did. But she didn't hate him like she knew Veronica would think she should.

Well, at least tonight wouldn't be boring.


	2. Chapter 2

Dick came sauntering around the corner with arms wide. "Hey buddy! Thanks for coming to get me, I—" he stopped suddenly and gave her an inquisitive look. "You look different, Logan." He inspected her from all sides while she rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just saying… something's different," he finished slowly with a confused look on his face.

"C'mon Dick before I change my mind and leave you here." She walked out the door without checking to see if he followed.

"What is this?" he asked.

"My car," the look on her face added the _duh_.

"Well it looks like crap. Did you like trade it in for that hot new body you're working?" She climbed in, seriously considering leaving him on the side of the road. "I mean, it was totally worth it and all, but…"

If looks could kill. But he answered with a grin, which was killer in its own way.

"Just kidding, Mackster." She turned her attention back to the car. "Seriously though," he continued, "is Logan like too busy giving Veronica a _ride_ so you get stuck with the _dirty_ 'Dick' work?" His gave her an insinuating wiggle of the eyebrows, but she was too tired and annoyed to care.

"Basically."

"Yeah," he answered in a normal tone of voice. "They've been going at it like crazy lately, I can't even stand to be in that house! You'd think a brother in trouble would be enough to get him to pull his cock out for like, 5 minutes." Dick sounded seriously offended.

"Yeah," she agreed, "Wallace and I were at your place for less than half an hour before the inappropriate making out started, I don't even want to think about what'll be going on by the time we get back."

"We? Why are you at my place?"

"Apartment is having some work done courtesy a poorly planned kegger thrown by my illustrious upstairs neighbors. We were all going to binge on _Firefly_ and make a night of it until I can go home. At least Wallace stuck with me for most of it."

"And I wasn't invited?" Dick pouted.

"Didn't really seem like your kinda thing," she replied.

"What, I totally dig hot girls in space. There are hot girls in space right?" She nodded.

"I've got half of _Serenity_ to finish," she offered.

"No fucking way, and listen to those two all night, can you just turn up here and I'll grab a room at the Grand. I can't take another night of that shit." He pointed in the direction of Neptune's most famous hotel.

"Must be nice, my escape plan consists of a rather large bottle of red wine and surround sound." She smiled at him. He gave her a small shrug as if to say, _sucks to be you_. He glanced ahead to the road, at a loss for further conversation. Dick really didn't know that much about Mac's current life, in spite of their besties being glued to each other since Logan's return home, and it often went like this - a few minutes of small talk with Dick making a few jokes and Mac smiling politely, and then awkward silence. Usually Logan or Veronica would turn up to spare them from each other, but tonight the only end in sight was the Grand, which Mac pulled in front of a very long ten minutes later.

Dick looked over at Mac to thank her for picking him up, he knew she could have easily left him there without a second thought and, even though she probably only made the gesture for Logan, he still felt indebted to her, not that that was anything new. He was contemplating his witty thank you comment when he heard her sigh loudly. Looking over he could see she looked even less thrilled than when she picked him up. Maybe he should just stick to the basic thank you.

"You should come in, grab a drink at the bar with me." What the hell? That was definitely not what he meant to say. He could only blame her sad eyes, after all he had been the cause of her downcast look so many times he really couldn't stand to see it anymore. In fact, that was probably one of the main reasons Dick made a point _not_ to be alone with Mac, it seemed impossible for her to even look at him without sad eyes and Dick didn't do sad. Good thing he knew Mac would never be interested in spending time alone with him either.

"Actually, that would be really awesome," she gave him a small smile. "Being stuck with Loganica is starting to make me a little… on edge," she smiled tightly. "I may have, accidentally, broken a vase with some roses." She looked at Dick innocently. "But it's cool, that was just the fourth dozen this week so…." She gave another heavy sigh. "Some time away might be a good thing for all parties and household items."

"Loganica?"

"Verogan? Nah, that's no good. Hmmm." Mac sat in deep thought while Dick gave her a questioning look, disguising his shock at her acceptance of his drink invitation. "Whatever," she continued, "I guess I should go park the car."

"Eh, just valet we're already here." Mac obliged, stepping out and suddenly wishing she had pulled on something nicer than an old pair of jeans and flip flops. Of course Dick was always dressed casually and tonight's shirt (Blink if you want me) was no exception. They walked into the hotel and Mac waited while Dick talked to the receptionist to make his room arrangements for the night. They both headed into the bar, which was as full as she expected this late on a Friday night, and found a table. Mac figured Dick must still come here often because the staff seemed to recognize him and a waitress called Lucy quickly made her way to their table to get their drink orders.

"The usual, Mr. Casablancas?" Lucy said with an innocent smile, sneakily checking out Mac with the corner of her eye. "And for you ma'am?" _Ma'am?!_ Mac was no _ma'am_.

"Glenlivet on the rocks."

The girl smiled, "Absolutely." She hurried off to take care of them while Dick raised his eyebrows at her with a grin.

"Wouldn't have taken you for a scotch drinker."

Mac glanced up at him. "No? What do you see me drinking?"

Dick laughed, "I don't know, wine maybe, or something with an umbrella. Are we going to end up back at lockdown tonight?"

She rolled her eyes. "Believe it or not, I've had a little practice. Some days call for a bit more than wine."

Dick's smile disappeared as he recalled which days she might want to test her alcohol tolerance out on. This was definitely one of the reasons he avoided any alone time with her. She probably hadn't even meant anything by the comment but sometimes when she spoke it was impossible for him not to read extra meaning into her words, to link her to his brother in every remark she made. He felt like she was constantly remembering all the hurtful things he, Dick, had done and said to her, and of all the ways he was to blame for what happened to her on graduation night. She never treated him like that, she was always polite and tried to avoid the topic, but it was like every word and every action from her passed through this filter, a shadow in the shape of a dead boy, and it was impossible for Dick to forget.

Sensing she had said the wrong thing, Mac tried changing the conversation to something lighter. "So, Veronica's birthday is coming up soon. I'm thinking of throwing a party or something, we never really did an official welcome back to Neptune, so I thought it would be fun."

Dick looked skeptical, "Maybe you should just get her and Logan a room somewhere, preferably not in my house. Besides, not to be an ass or anything, but who's gonna come to this party? Does she even have friends besides you and Wallace?"

Mac looked slightly offended. "Of course she does! I mean, there's you and Logan." Dick scrunched his eyebrows in doubt as Lucy the waitress brought them their drinks. "And… and maybe we can invite Keith?" He vigorously shook his head no. "Well, what about Weevil." Mac smiled, proud to have come up with a legitimate party attender.

"Hell no, not if it's gonna be at my place. I guess if you want to lock up your stuff maybe you could do it at your apartment? Tell me though so I can make sure to ride with Logan, I don't want to lose my car or anything."

Mac huffed at the implication. "Why do you do that?"

Dick look confused. "Do what, try to _not_ get my stuff stolen?" He watched as Mac took a slow sip of her drink.

"Be an ass. Have you even spoken to Weevil since high school?" He looked at her as though she were a small child refusing to believe that unicorns weren't real.

"People don't change Mac."

She took another sip, glaring at him over her glass. "Yeah, I guess not," she said dryly.

Dick was definitely regretting his decision to invite her for a drink. Sitting with her he felt all of 17 again and all of his past shame rose up inside him. He took a big gulp of his drink and waved for another.

"Whatever, maybe Weevil is a totally reformed upstanding citizen with an honest job, though I haven't seen him mowing any of my neighbors' lawns so I kinda doubt it," his words came out harsher than the joking tone he intended. "But look at you, you've changed." She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "I mean, you were always like super smart geeky chick and now you're like super smart sexy corporate woman or whatever." He gave her a leer, "I mean, you were always cute but you are really working it now."

Mac sighed, "Well that's definitely why I went to college and got a good job and stuff, so that guys like Dick Casablancas would want to do me."

Dick laughed, "Oh there was never a time I wouldn't have 'done' you, you just moved up on the list. Don't be so grumpy about it, it's a compliment."

She looked at him pointedly. "Maybe one day we should get out the dictionary and talk about what it means to compliment a woman."

He grinned, "You have a novel idea of foreplay Mackie, but if books are what turn you on I'm in, definitely not the weirdest thing I've seen." She shook her head as Lucy dropped off another round. She hadn't intended to have another herself but since it had already arrived she figured she could handle Dick a little longer to put off going back to the beach house. Even so, she definitely wanted to turn the conversation in a different direction. She was still trying to figure out a safe subject when Dick piped up again. "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you, although I honestly don't know what woman wouldn't want to hear that a guy would want to sleep with her. Unless you're like into girls or whatever. I mean, you never really bring guys around to parties or anything. Wait, are you into girls?" Dick tried unsuccessfully to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"No Dick," she rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time that night. "I'm into guys, I'm just particular, that's all." He didn't seem to be buying it.

"Really? Because you seemed a little jealous earlier when you told me how you destroyed Logan's romantic token of affection for Veronica," he taunted and she couldn't help but smile back. "That sounds more like someone desperately in need of a little Y-chromosome attention to me."

She playfully smacked him. "Whatever, maybe the guys I date are just too picky," she gave him a hard look. "Apparently I have trust issues." Her words came out a little slurred and he started doubting her so-called drinking tolerance as he noticed her second drink was close to empty. He swallowed as the shadow slipped in once more. She didn't seem to have noticed though. "But they shouldn't lie to me about stuff really, I mean like they expect me _not_ to figure out that they got fired from their last job, that they didn't actually quit, or that they didn't graduate cum laude at all. I don't even think Paul has ever _been_ to Paris."

He looked at her blankly, "Actually Mac, no, that shit doesn't really matter and it's not really stuff you tell people when you first meet them. Guys just want to impress you. Do you, like, do a check on every guy you go out with?"

She shrugged, "Not always, sometimes Veronica does it."

Dick's eyes widened. "Dude, that is so fucked up. I mean, what if all the girls I took home did a check on me first, I mean I would like never ever get laid."

She laughed. "And doctors everywhere would be shocked at the sudden decline in genital herpes." Now it was Dick's turn to roll his eyes.

"Not even. Besides, you think if these guys checked up on you it would be all hearts and roses?" He smiled and used his hands to frame her face, "Crazed jealous lady uses vase to bludgeon her best friend's boyfriend to death after 7th flower delivery of the week. Neighbors say she was the quiet type, but did own twelve cats. That's right, twelve cats." Mac started laughing, feeling the buzz from her drinks. Lucy came around again and Dick looked at Mac questioningly.

"I shouldn't, I need to get back home... or to your home… or whatever." Her face flushed as she tried to get the words out with difficulty.

"Uh uh Mac, you're not driving tonight, might as well grab one more round before they kick us out." He nodded to Lucy and she went off to grab more drinks.

"Shit," she looked embarrassed. "Sorry, I'll figure something out."

"Well you _could_ -"

"No."

"I was _going_ to say, I heard about these guys and you can like pay them to take you anywhere."

"Yeah, I'll call a cabbie after this one."

Dick gave her a confused look. "Well, I thought they were called pilots, but whatever."

Mac laughed and Dick relaxed a bit. Drunk Mac was a little easier for him to deal with than sober Mac. Of course, the couple of drinks he had had didn't hurt, but he was still in better shape than she was. Still, as the night went on he had noticed less glaring and more smiling, which was something he could get used to. She didn't seem to hold his sense of humor against him like Ronnie did, and when she did have a snarky comeback it lacked that note of malice the blonde always seemed to have in hers. They went on joking with each other as they finished up their third round and Dick found himself actually enjoying Mac's company, the shadow all but lifted for the time being.

"Sorry guys," Lucy the waitress had reappeared, "it's closing time." Dick looked annoyed for a moment, but then signed the tab.

"Oh, lemme get my-" Mac started, but Dick waved her hand away.

"The least I can do for my bail-out buddy."

"Oh no," she replied, "that is NOT me, do _not_ add my phone number to your speed dial list because I can't be running to get you on the nights Logan is otherwise occupied… cuz it's starting to be like every night." She didn't even try to keep the annoyance out of her voice. "Can you call me a cab please?" she asked the waitress.

Dick waved her off. "You know there's like another bedroom in the suite right? You can sleep it off there."

"Oh. Yeah, ok. Thanks Dick." That sounded a lot easier than trekking home.

Dick gave her his trademark leer, "You will, of course, have to pay the tax," he said seriously.

Her eyes met his with a bit of challenge in them. "I think I can afford that."

He let out a laugh and said in a fake whisper, "You do know I'm talking about _sex_ , right?"

She laughed. "Dick, we both know which one of us has the brains here. No matter how much alcohol I have I still know you're _always_ talking about sex."

He gave her a big grin and asked the concierge to send up two bottles of champagne to the room.


	3. Chapter 3

"So seriously, you wanna like watch a movie, or play video games?" Dick popped open a bottle and poured them both a glass.

"Whatever." She looked around the room, which she hadn't been in for a while. The suite always made her think of _Pretty Woman_. "This suite always makes me think of _Pretty Woman_."

Dick gave her a huge grin. "Yeah, well that chic got to stay in the room _and_ get some money for the sex, so I feel like I'm getting a real deal here with just the room." They laughed in a relaxed way and Mac knew it was just Dick being Dick, so she played along.

"Yeah well, you haven't had sex with me yet so maybe you should withhold judgment until I've demanded you suck on my sixth toe and peed on your belly button." She said seriously.

"Wow," Dick laughed with a slightly grossed out look on his face. "That's graphic. And disgusting. And possibly a little hot." They both started laughing again.

This time when it died down nothing replaced it. They just looked at each other with goofy smiles and no words to fill the air. Mac was surprised that this was the first time a little drunken awkwardness has settled upon her, considering she has spent the last few hours with Dick Casablancas. She bursts into a sudden stream of laughter. "Remember that time…" she choked on her own giggles, unable to get out the sentence.

"What?" Dick was chuckling just watching her, she was clearly more than a little tipsy and whatever she was trying to get out must be hilarious.

"You know, that time you made out with that escort that was a guy." She was literally pointing and laughing at him, laughing with those uncontrollable giggles that you couldn't stop if you tried.

And man, she wished she could stop because the look he had was dreadful. He went pale as a ghost, the blood completely drained from his face leaving only a mask of features. She didn't know a sun kissed guy like Dick could look pale. And of course it has nothing to do with the fact that she called him out on kissing a guy. After a few moments her fit of laughter subsided and she managed to calm herself down, only to go right past calm to horror at what she said. Dick swallowed thickly.

"Oh shit," Mac started, shaken and not a little bit sober. "I don't know why I said that, I don't know what the fuck I was… shit." She started looking all around her, as though there was some evidence that would show the couch was to blame for her outburst and not her.

"It's ok," Dick forced a smile. "Seriously, I imagine it was pretty funny to watch." His smile started to look more sincere, like the memory of his brother's prank didn't make him want to drain an entire bottle of something much stronger right then. "Honestly, she… he… whatever, was probably some of the best tongue action I ever got. If I still had that number… I mean thirty-something chicks think they're like too good to go down on a one night stand or something but I bet that guy was really awesome at it." He laughed harshly.

Mac appreciated his effort but she couldn't seem to get her smile to stick and Dick could tell she was holding back tears. He opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted him. "Thanks for letting me crash, I'm totally beat. I'll see ya in the morning, k?" He wouldn't have known how to stop her from walking to the bedroom, how to comfort her, so he didn't. He chugged his glass of champagne and walked to the other room to try and get some sleep.

* * *

Dick woke up to a soft tap on his door, and Mac peeked in. "Hey," she said softly, "I was thinking of getting breakfast downstairs and thought you may want something."

He sat up, not caring at all that he was only in his underwear. "Oh, well we can just get room service or something if you want."

She looked down at her feet. "Yeah, if you want. I should probably go soon though. I mean, I can wait if you want a ride home or whatever."

He got out of bed and grabbed a drink from the dresser, his head was still a little cloudy from the night before. "Whatever you want, it's cool." He looked her, surprised to see that she looked close to tears. "Hey, what's up? Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied, but she sure didn't look it. "I just, you know, I wanted to say sorry about last night. That was totally weird and uncool and I don't know why I brought it up, I just-"

"Hey," he interrupted her, "it's fine. I'm fine."

She clearly wasn't though, and the tears started falling as soon as he spoke. Dick stood stunned for a minute, not really sure what to do as she wiped her face and looked around, clearly embarrassed. "Seriously," he walked towards her, "I'm ok, it's not like we have to pretend he was never here you know. Sometimes that just makes it worse." She burst into a fresh set of tears.

Suddenly Dick's strong arms were around her, and she was sobbing into his bare chest. She cried like she hasn't cried in years, and he just held her tighter, his face buried into her hair. She could tell by the movements of his body that he was crying a little too – not sobbing, but definitely crying. So she hugged him back.

She wasn't sure if they'd been there for minutes, or maybe hours. Him stroking her hair, her rubbing his back softly. Eventually they both ran out of tears though, and their arms relaxed. Dick pulled back, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes. "Hey, you know what the absolute best thing about this suite is?" She looked up at him questioningly.

"That you're paying for it?" She gave him a whimsical smile and he rolled his eyes.

"The shower."

She looked skeptical.

"Seriously, it is like bathing in a fucking rainforest. Two shower heads, crazy acoustics, it is like magical and shit."

"Magical and shit?"

"Yep," he replied. "Go on, give it a try, you will feel like a world of better." She made a face at him and he knew what she was thinking. Not that he wouldn't like to but… "I'll wait out here… make sure room service gets called." He gave her a big grin and a dramatic sigh, just to be sure she knew he would be imagining the whole thing.

"Fine. But I'm locking the door." He gave her a grand wave into the master bath, grinning as she watched him carefully as he grabbed some clothes and exited the room. After he got dressed and made the call for breakfast, Dick snuck back into his room looking for that oh-so-delicious hangover-curing Powerade he knew had a few chugs left in. He was surprised to see Mac standing, still wearing her clothes from the night before, staring into the open door of the bathroom.

"What's up?" Dick walked over to her and gave her a curious look.

"Oh. Yeah I think I'm just gonna wait until we get back to your place." She started to turn and leave the bathroom but Dick's body blocked her.

"No way, you are definitely missing out! This shower is hella better, seriously." He looked down at her and was surprised to see she looked like she might burst into tears again. His body softened around her as he gently took her by both arms. "You ok?"

"Not really," she looked up at him. "I mean, it's not a big deal or anything, I'm just not big on showering in hotels. Especially not this one." Mac gave him a meaningful look and then stared down.

"This is about him? You haven't taken a shower in a hotel in how long because of him?" Dick's voice was low and soft, she couldn't tell what was going on in his head but this was not a look Mac had seen on him before.

"Not never, I mean I have. It's just not really necessary very often. It's just easier if I do it at your place." She started to move around him and was surprised when he didn't let her pass.

"No." He looked her dead in the eye.

"No? Are you serious?"

"Hell yes I'm serious. You're not that girl, Mac."

"What kind of girl is that? And how the hell would you know what kind of girl I am anyway?" She could hear the anger rise in her voice as he still refused to let her pass. "Move, Dick." He let out a long sigh but didn't let go.

"C'mon Mac, are you seriously going to let some _bad thing_ that happened like a decade ago stop you from doing something as mundane as taking a shower? An awesome shower by the way."

"Bad thing? Is that what we're calling it now?"

"Call it what you want Mac," he sighed and relaxed his grip on her, "but I—I'm sorry, you know. I'm sorry I can't undo what he did. I'm sorry I didn't know to stop him and I'm sorry that maybe I made it worse. But I can't fix any of that shit. This? You taking a fucking shower in the best goddamn shower on the goddamn planet? That I can help with." He reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it on the bedroom floor.

Mac stood stunned. He had stripped to some boxer briefs before she could even speak. "Dick, what the hell?"

He rolled his eyes. "Jeez, I'm not even, like, naked. You can keep your lady shit on too if you want, I mean I've seen you in a bikini." She was sure he hadn't, and she didn't move an inch.

"Well, I'm getting in. You gonna do this or you just gonna stink every time you go on vacation somewhere without a pool?" Dick stepped around her and reached down to turn on the tap.

When he glanced back she was pulling her shirt over her head, slowly, like she was afraid she might rip something. She looked at him self-consciously while she unzipped her jeans and stripped down to her underwear, surprised that he was totally focused on the shower, and when he turned, he looked right into her eyes and held out his hand to help her in.

The shower was a huge open square with rough, stone tile and a rainfall shower head on either side. The water pressure was amazing and she closed her eyes. Dick was right, the shower would be amazing if she wasn't trying so hard not to get sick. Dick saw her face contort up and this time his arms were around her before the tears started. She didn't have many left, though, but she was still very tense from the effort of staying calm. Finally her heart rate slowed a little and she settled into Dick's arms, remnants of tears still streaming down her face pressed up against his chest. He stroked her hair softly and waited for her breathing to steady. Sometimes he would think she was almost there and then the ragged intake of breath would start fresh again. He would rock her slightly and hold her tightly, keeping his breath deep and even, a rock for her to steady herself on.

Finally her heartbeat seemed to slow to match his, her breathing light but slow, and she held on to him for a few minutes before pulling away to breathe on her own. When she finally looked at Dick, he was smiling. Not leering, just smiling like a kid with a secret. "Are you ready for shampoo?" he asked with a grin.

"Sure." She couldn't help but smile a little back, curious as to what the surprise was.

He poured some of the hotel stuff in his hands and rubbed it together before running his fingers through her hair. It smelled amazing, like coconut and summer, and she closed her eyes to breathe it in. Dick moved around her so that he was pressed against her back, scooting her forward so one shower stream was hitting her chest. She stiffened at first, it was an intimate position, but after a few seconds of his strong fingers kneading into her scalp she couldn't help but relax into him and sigh. Mac didn't think she'd been this relaxed in months, maybe years. When he pushed her slowly forward to rinse the shampoo out, the warm water came down across her face like rain and she had to agree with Dick, this was definitely magical and shit.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks so much for the reviews! This is my first story so I am still figuring out how to do notes and responses and stuff. I am so glad people are enjoying it - I so enjoy the Madi stories out there!_

* * *

Ok, so maybe Mac was a little drunk. But she was having fun! It had been a couple of weeks since their sleepover at the Grand and she was having fun with Dick Casablancas… ok that was weird. But good weird? Or just weird weird? Whatever, three beers in, she really didn't care.

Back at the hotel the night she had stayed over Mac had finally managed to calm down and told Dick she was good by herself, that she wanted to do this by herself, so he had left her to it – keeping the door open of course, just in case. "Don't even think about peeking," she had yelled after him.

They had had a yummy breakfast with basic pleasantries, but she hadn't talked to Dick since she dropped him off at home that afternoon and left to spend the rest of the apartment lock out with her parents, thanks to a surprise call from her mom. Not that it was strange for her not to see Dick, since they didn't see each other regularly anyway, but enough time had passed that she was afraid it might be awkward. Tonight they had both come out to celebrate Veronica's latest spy victory – resulting in both jail time for a super creep and a fat check – but surprise, surprise, Logan and Veronica had taken off early. Wallace had disappeared shortly after on the tail of some cute girl and she and Dick were left holding full drinks.

Mac gave Dick a disbelieving look from across the booth, "No, you are so SO gonna lose! There is no way that you can get that girl to third base in this bar. Both gross and undoable. You must be wasted because you have clearly lost your mind."

"Oh sweet, innocent, sweet Mac." He shook his head. "My little grasshopper. Let me teach you the ways of loose women." He leaned in conspiringly as she let out an exasperated sigh. "I have studied these creatures for years… YEARS." He forced her to look into his eyes and she smiled patiently. "The low cut top, shiny lip gloss, the let's make it look accidental whale tail… yes, all the tell-tale signs of… desperation." He lowered his voice on the last word.

Mac rolled her eyes. "I can't _wait_ to see this fail." Dick just gave her a huge grin and headed over to the girl who had been their topic of conversation for the last few minutes.

Mac gave him a few minutes and she had to admit, blondie whale tail was not ignoring him… still, what kind of girl would seriously hook up with a strange guy she just met in a bar? Hmmm… maybe that kind. She walked over and leaned against a nearby wall where she could overhear some of the conversation but she could only see Dick's face.

"Wow, that's cool. So how long have you been driving that?"

"About 6 months, it really is about time to upgrade." Mac's eyes rolled back in her head. Do girls really fall for this shit?

"Wait so, what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't sweetheart, you'd remember. I'm Dick, Dick Casablancas." He flashed that mega-watt smile and winked at her. Or was that for Mac? This time she made sure Dick could see her eye roll. He looked back at the girl and Dick's face changed, like he was confused by blondie whale tail's expression.

"Like as in that guy that killed a bunch of people Casablancas?" Dicks face went slack, his color a little pale. The girl started to back away from him but he didn't even notice, he turned to look at Mac. The word _desperate_ came to her mind. "I just saw the whole thing on TV like last week!"

 _E! True Hollywood Stories_ had done an updated Echolls episode featuring not just Aaron's trial, but also Logan's most recent murder accusation. Thanks to Gia Goodman's involvement, the bus crash had gotten it's own special mention.

"How do you even like, live with that? That is so messed up." The girl looked at him with shock and anger. "You must be like, so embarrassed to even live here."

"Ok, you need to walk away now." Mac's voice was quiet but her eyes were shooting daggers as she walked up to Dick and took his arm.

"What?" the girl continued. "I'm just saying that it must really suck to share genes with a—"

"Seriously. Walk. Away."

The girl made a nasty face at Mac and departed in a huff. Mac turned to look at Dick, who still seemed stunned. "Dick, forget about it, she doesn't know shit about you, she doesn't know shit about Cassidy, not about anything. Forget it."

Dick swallowed and pulled away from her, walking to the bar. "Two whiskey shots please." He sat down and waited for the drinks. He grabbed one and Mac took the other as soon as they were delivered. He gave her a disgruntled look, "Two _more_ whiskey shots please." He downed the first one and the second in quick succession, waiting for her to catch up.

"Maybe we should call it a night, Dick," she suggested softly.

Dick rubbed his eyes and let his head rest between his hands. "Yeah, maybe… fuck no," he rubbed his eyes harder, "Ronnie and Logan will be doing who the fuck knows what and I just can't deal with them tonight, you know?" He looked at Mac pleadingly, like it was important she understand. She did. Sleeping was going to be tough after that without some more help from Dick's good friend Jack. "Wanna grab a cab to the Grand and play video games?"

Mac gave him an exasperated look. "C'mon Dick, I know you can afford it but it is ridiculous to go rent a suite just to play games. My place is safe now and clearly no one is home so we can go there and play." _And I even have a little more whiskey if that's what it takes to get some shut eye_ , she thought.

"Your place? That sounds good…." He tried to give her his famous leering grin but only managed a sad smile.

"Don't go getting all excited. _You_ will be sleeping on the couch," Mac told him firmly. He upgraded the sad smile to a hopeful smirk.

"Exciting things can happen on a couch."


	5. Chapter 5 (M)

The shots started affecting both of them on the cab ride home, and Mac was almost carrying the much larger Dick into her apartment when they arrived. She helped him onto the couch, as promised, and threw him a pillow and some blankets. But by the time she was in her pajamas and lying down on the bed, Mac found her eyes were no longer heavy and she instead worked on finding pictures in the popcorn ceiling of her room. This usually helped to keep the images out. Tonight it was the image of Dick's broken face at the bar, of Cassidy's broken body on the pavement, of the scene outside that fateful shower that led to her broken heart.

Mac huffed and rolled over, trying to push out the thoughts in her mind. She had perfected the art in the years of Dick's absence, but since he had become a more regular feature in her life it seemed Cassidy had taken up residence in her nights. Her therapist had once suggested she reach out to Dick, that it may be good for her to discuss her feelings with someone who may have some of the same internal conflicts. She had dismissed it out of hand at the time, but now she wondered if some part of her hoped her and Dick could share this common ground.

Her thoughts turned to a different shower to replace the bad memory – a shower in the same hotel on a different floor. With a different Casablancas… Strangely this image was also not very helpful in getting sleep to come. She thought of Dick on the couch asleep and wondered if the same bad dreams that sometimes haunted her would haunt him too. Hell, the way he gobbled down those "prescription" brownies she figured they probably haunted him during the day as well.

She looked at the clock; its bright green lights informed her that it was 1:25, exactly 5 minutes since the last time she checked. She decided to sneak out of her room for some water, the alcohol had dried her throat and it wasn't like she was going to sleep anyway. She moved as softly as she could to fill up her glass and drink it quickly, trying not to wake Dick. She chugged the full glass and immediately felt much better, refilling the glass so she would have more for later.

"Mmmm, that sounds good. Bring me a glass?" She glanced over and sighed, Dick was sitting up on the couch looking at her water glass longingly.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up." She filled the glass and brought it to him, then turned back toward her room.

"You sleeping ok?" he asked.

Mac turned around to face him. "Not really."

He patted the seat next to him on the couch and she went and sat beside him, folding her legs up underneath her. "Yeah, me either. Not exactly what I had planned for the evening."

She looked up at him, "Yeah sorry, but don't worry it's only Friday, you have plenty of weekend party time left to find some flavor of the week to go home with." She sank further into the couch.

"Oh, I didn't mean that," he answered with a mischievous grin. "Trust me, I went home with exactly who I intended to." He gave her a pointed look. "The sexiest chick in the bar."

Mac rolled her eyes. "You forget I am immune to your charms, Casablancas."

Dick gave her a hurt look. "Whatever," he grumbled, "I was just being honest." He curled up on the couch with his feet next to Mac, the wounded look still on his face.

"Yeah, well that's such a nice compliment until a hotter girl walks in…" she trailed off, trying her best not to sound like a girl who _cared_ what Dick Casablancas thought of her looks.

Dick gave her a thoughtful look. "Not possible." He paused. "At least I haven't seen it happen."

Mac gave Dick an annoyed look. "I'm not sure what you're doing Dick but I'm very aware that I am perfectly fine looking, and I clean up nice, and I'm totally good with that. I know I don't look like one of your porn star hook ups and I'm actually pretty happy about it." She looked down, trying to ignore the flush she felt rising in her cheeks.

Now it was Dick's turn to roll his eyes. "You really don't get it do you? I mean, yeah, most of the girls I hook up with are hot but jeez half the shit on them they paid for. You, on the other hand, are _sexy_. Your hair, your lips, and the way you move," his voice had gotten softer, "and you're like the smartest person I know, which is totally sexy. And you're funny as hell. And you don't ask tons of stupid questions about shit that doesn't matter, like most chicks. And you're a good listener, you can just be quiet without acting like it's weird." He sat up a little closer to her while Mac played with her toes, not looking at him. "Maybe you learned those last few things by hanging out with Ronnie so much, I mean she is like a lesson on how to be not cool."

Mac looked up at him in mock outrage, "Hey! Veronica is my friend and I adore her! Even if she is a little inquisitive," she smiled. "She's a good person and a good friend," Mac finished quietly.

Dick returned her smile, "I like that about you too."

"That I'm friends with Veronica?"

He laughed. "Hell no, just that you're a good friend. You're loyal. I think most people undervalue loyalty." His look turned solemn.

"You're loyal," Mac told him seriously.

Dick's eyes were looking past her and Mac wondered where his mind was. "Yeah, I guess. When I get the chance," he said darkly.

Mac wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, talking about, but he turned quickly to her and continued seriously. "Mac, I'm not a good person you know. I mean, not like you think Veronica is."

She turned to face him fully. "C'mon Dick, I know we're not exactly close, but I have known you for more than a decade. I think I have some idea of what kind of person you are."

Dick sighed deeply and looked straight ahead, "Yeah, that can't be good for me."

"Whatever Dick," Mac continued. "Maybe you aren't gonna win any congeniality awards, but you _have_ been a great friend to Logan. You've been loyal to him when he hasn't always done the same for you." Dick looked at her with an expression she wasn't quite able to read. "Sorry. I mean, I'm probably not supposed to know that stuff but you are a good person Dick. A good friend." He was still looking at her with an intensity she had never seen in him before.

"Yeah well, friendship is sometimes overrated."

Mac couldn't help but smile. "Yeah? Is this your way of telling me you want to be more than friends with Logan?"

"I take back what I said earlier about you being the smart one." Dick grinned back at her before quickly leaning forward to capture her lips in his.

Dick's lips were almost frozen on hers. He moved slowly as he gently kissed her, refusing to break contact. His hand moved up to stroke her cheek, but he stopped before touching her, fearful that she would push him away or slap him, or worse. Mac didn't move. Her mind wasn't even able to compute what the bigger shock was – that Dick Casablancas was kissing her, or that she was letting him. She hadn't moved since his lips touched hers, and now that he was slowly pulling away she could only process the loss of warmth. He looked at her softly, questioningly, his breath still sharing her air.

Mac leaned back against the couch and looked straight ahead. "Ok," she said in resignation, as though agreeing to some point that she had been fighting against previously.

"Ok… What K?" Dick raised his eyebrows, not sure he wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Ok, I guess I'm not completely immune to your charms." She sighed.

"Oh yeah? Any chance you could be a little more specific as to which ones?" He asked, giving her his classic smirk. When Mac didn't answer him he leaned back against the couch, tilting his head up and closing his eyes. "Whatever. It's cool, I mean, I'm not as dumb as you all think. I know you would never be into in me like that."

"Then why did you kiss me?"

"I don't know," he said with a sigh, still not looking at her. "It was just really hard not to. You were looking all hot and being all awesome." He shrugged, trying to play it off like he didn't care at all. When she didn't answer he went on. "Seriously, it's no big deal. I mean you're not even the first girl to reject me, like, _tonight_." He said it in a joking tone, but she could tell he was still upset by the evening's events.

"Dick…" she said softly.

He felt her weight disappear from the couch, and figured she couldn't come up with anything nice to say before heading back to bed. He looked down to say goodnight but was shocked to instead find her knees pressing up against his hips as she climbed up to straddle him, her face leaning towards him as he hurried to meet her oncoming lips. He wrapped his arms around her small waist while he kissed her, hungrily this time. He expertly used his mouth to taste her lips, waiting until they were a bit swollen from use before dipping his tongue into her mouth, gently at first, then deeply. Running his hands up and down her back, he was excited to discover she had discarded her bra and he slipped them under her thin t-shirt as their kisses slowly grew in intensity. Mac ran her fingers through his hair, gently tugging in time with the rising heat between their lips, until they moved to his waist to pull his shirt over his head so she could trail her fingertips down his sides and up his chest, feeling each ripple in every muscle. His hands moved down to feel the curve of her ass when she slowly pulled away for a much needed breathe of air.

"Are you like, still totally wasted?" Dick asked only to receive a sharp look from Mac. "I just don't want you to freak out on me in the morning or anything, you know?" Dick wasn't usually one to question a hot girl willing to hook up, drunk or not, but his head was starting to clear a little and this was _Mac_ , not just some random he'd picked up at a bar. She definitely wasn't that kind of girl. And he actually managed to work a little concern into his usual "Dick" tone.

"No, not really… Are you?" she said, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Well, yeah I'm still a little drunk but not really," he smiled. "Just enough to be a good thing," he finished, eyebrows waggling. Mac rolled her eyes. She didn't know what had gotten into her to basically jump Dick, but she had had enough to drink that she wasn't thinking about the past, about who he could sometimes be. She was just thinking of how much fun they had before that stupid bitch had started talking, how hot he looked in almost nothing on her couch, how sweet he had been with her lately. How he really seemed to want her. But now she couldn't stop other memories of him from rising to the surface and he must have seen it coming, must have felt her start to pull away because his grip on her tightened and pulled her in closer. His face turned serious and his eyes dark.

"Please don't…" he swallowed. "Just stay here," he said softly. He leaned forward, his lips crashing against hers again, and all thoughts good and bad flew from her mind. This time he made sure not to let the contact end, and when she pulled up for a breath his lips traced her chin and her neck to pull soft moans from her mouth. His hands ran up her thighs and under her short pajama shorts to trace the line of her panties, slipping under the band at her hips so his fingers could outline her hip bones. His hands moved around to her ass to pull her forward against his fully erect cock, letting her know exactly what sort of benefits she had coming her way. She tried and failed to resist the urge to push up and down against his hard-on, enjoying the friction as she felt herself start to ache in anticipation of him. His fingers moved back down to lightly run over the outside of her panties beneath her opening, and he was thrilled to find that they were damp. She let out a soft moan as his fingers tickled against her.

"Maybe we should move this to the bedroom," she whispered into his ear.

"Whatever you say babe, but I told you exciting things can happen on a couch."


	6. Chapter 6 (M)

_So this is definitely adult content._

* * *

Dick carried her into her room, her legs still wrapped around him. He set her gently on her bed and reached down to pull her shirt over her head. He leaned forward until she was lying down in front of him, breasts totally bare. He kissed her collarbone while letting his hand drift up to massage one small mound, using his thumb to tease her nipple until it was a hard little nub under his touch. He moved downwards to do the same with the other breast, this time using his tongue. His free hand moved down to her shorts while he pushed her body farther up on the bed so only her calves dangled off the side. His kisses slowly crept down her body, his hands trailing beside. He kissed all the way down her stomach, past her belly button, and to the waistband of her shorts, which he pulled down and off while she continued to let out soft moans. He concentrated on her hip bones, traveling across the waistband of her panties and then down her thigh. He used his hands to spread her legs wider as he kissed the inside of each thigh in turn, slowly moving towards his objective. Finally he kissed her on top of her panties right above her slit and let his nose nuzzle into her more sensitive spot.

This earned him a very appreciative moan. Mac certainly didn't expect him to be quite so giving, and he usually wasn't, but she ran her hands through his hair and let herself enjoy it. Dick couldn't believe how wet she already was and was aching to get inside her, but he wanted to do what he could to make sure she really enjoyed tonight first as he was hoping this wouldn't be a one-time deal.

He pulled her panties down an inch at a time, kissing her skin as it appeared from underneath. Finally he had the garments down past her ass and he quickly pulled them off and pushed her legs apart as far as he could. He pulled his mouth down from the top of her inner lips all the way down past her gushing crevice, and then he stuck his tongue out as far as he could and licked her from bottom to top like she was his favorite flavor of ice cream. He received another loud moan for this, and he quickly repeated the move. Next he slid his finger into her tight slit while his mouth focused in above. He heard her gasp as his tongue went to work seeking that tight bundle of nerves in her clit, sucking on it and twirling around it when he found it. He added another finger and continued pumping into her, then glanced up to see that she was rubbing her own breasts, pinching her nipples with her fingers. He used his free hand to reach underneath her and knead her ass, adding a third finger to the pumping action inside her, sensing she was close.

"Oh god! Oh god, Dick god," her volume alone would have had him erect, her words made him ache for her even more. He kept a steady pace until her contracting muscles relaxed again then he slowly removed his fingers and laid his tongue against her swollen lips, catching the rush of juices as they poured out of her. He stayed there a few moments until her breathing returned to normal. Once she seemed relaxed enough he slowly kissed his way up her body until he was lying beside her, staring into her very satisfied eyes.

"Wow," she said, "just wow." Mac sighed heavily.

"Wow?" he asked. "What happened to oh god?" he said with a wink and a smile. She was still reeling from her orgasm and decided he deserved some bragging rights for that.

"That too." He kissed her, letting his hand trail up between her breasts and back down between her legs as they slowly rebuilt some the momentum they had lost during her recovery. He went back to rubbing her breasts and pressed hard against her, and she could feel his throbbing cock struggling to escape the confining boxer briefs he had on. She reached down to free him of the clothing, and he kicked it off while her small hand rubbed the soft skin up and down, showing the tip extra attention while he moaned inside her mouth. When he didn't think he could take any more he pulled away from her lips to look at her intently, letting her know what he oh so desperately wanted.

"Condoms are in the top drawer," she nodded to the nightstand close to him. He quickly moved to grab what he needed, and was surprised to find a strip of condoms with a couple obviously missing on top. He tried to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest as he wondered when she might have used them, and with whom. He pushed the thought out of his head and worked to put the condom on before the troublesome idea moved south. He rolled back over to find Mac smiling at him dreamily, clearly excited to have him in her bed, and suddenly his brain was empty and his body was in complete control. He pushed himself on top of her, using his knees to spread her legs wide, and slowly pushed his cock deep into her while maintaining steady eye contact and with a small smile on his face. Mac didn't think she had ever been this turned on by anyone, first the incredible things he had done with his mouth and now the purposeful way he pumped in and out of her with his long shaft. Her hips quickly began moving with his rhythm, aching to feel him deeper.

He took her wrists in his hands, moving them above her head while gauging her reaction to make sure she was comfortable with his confining grasp. She definitely was and started writhing underneath him. He held both her wrists with one hand as his thrusts became deeper and rougher, using his spare hand to grab her leg and push it up so that his cock was pushing on a different spot inside her. Mac felt herself climbing towards another orgasm as they perfected the new angle. She let out another loud moan, this time keeping both eyes on his for the duration of her ecstasy. His small, arrogant smile usually irritated the shit out of her, but right now it just made her want him to fuck her more.

She wrestled her hands free from him and pushed up against his chest. "Me on top," she said commandingly.

"Yes, ma'am," he gave her a huge grin and rolled over, pulling her on top of him. Mac immediately impaled herself on his cock and began riding him slowly, watching his expression. She leaned down to kiss him, and then held herself up at a slight angle, enjoying the friction against her sensitive clit while she rocked her body back and forth. Dick watched her, loving the feel of her nipples dancing across his chest as she rode him. After a few minutes she sat up, giving him an excellent view as her movements sped up. Being able to control the contact and the pace quickly brought her close to her third orgasm of the night, and when Dick saw it coming he reached down to gently stroke her again, sending her completely over the edge. Once she had semi-recovered she leaned down on him and nibbled on his ear lobe.

"How do you want me?" she whispered. His breathe caught in his throat.

"Wh-What?" he stammered.

"Come on Dick, I'm sure a guy like you has a few favorite positions, surely you can imagine me in one. I think you've earned it, so, how do you want me?"

 _Damn_. This night was turning out way better than he could've imagined. He grabbed her hips and slid out from under her while keeping her on all fours facing the bed. Sure she knew what he wanted, Mac closed her knees tightly together and arched her back down. "Uh-uh," he said as forced her legs apart widely with his own and slid inside her from behind. "Ooooh," she let out a moan of surprise. Dick looked down to watch his cock slide easily in and out of her, squeezing her ass as she moaned into the bed, the sound muffled by her face in the covers. He had joked about it before, but he was glad of the small bit of alcohol in his system otherwise he never would have lasted this long. As it was, this position was going to have him coming in a few short minutes.

"Damn Mac, you are so fucking hot." He could hear her sigh and wondered if she was up for one more before he finished. He reached down to grab her wrist and pulled her hand between her legs so that she was touching herself. He could tell from her moans she was definitely going to come again, so he held off until he felt it start. "Mmmm, fuck Mac. I'm gonna come inside of you right now." He let himself go inside her, and her finishing orgasm milked his cock until there was nothing left. Dick let out a long sigh as she collapsed underneath him on the bed. He got up and went into the bathroom to rid himself of the condom, then slid into the bed next to her.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he pressed his lips against hers. She looked up at him. "That was… unexpected," she said with a smile.

"You think?" Dick asked, "I was kinda thinking it was overdue." Mac flushed. He gave her one last kiss before closing his eyes, and they both went to sleep easily.


	7. Chapter 7 (M)

Mac woke up to find Dick's arms around her, both of them still undressed. She carefully tried to sneak underneath him without waking him, and had almost made it out of his reach when she felt herself being pulled back on the bed by two strong arms. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

She smiled and turned to face him. "I thought I might do us both a favor and go brush my teeth."

"No way, if I have morning breath you gotta have it too." With that he kissed her. She laughed and rolled back over so they were spooning again, and Dick began lightly kissing her shoulders and back, clearly in the mood for a morning repeat of last night's activities. Mac closed her eyes at the memory. Dick's hand had now traced its way down her stomach and over her ass, reaching between her legs from behind. He was thrilled to find she was already wet.

"Oh my, someone woke up happy to see me. I better take care of that," he said with a grin, reaching behind him for another condom. He slid into her easily, and reached down to pull her top leg up over his while kicking the sheet down to give him an amazing view of her body. He rubbed her breasts and smiled as he watched her begin to push on top of him lazily. Still kissing her shoulders, he reached down to rub her clit while she moaned, feeling her wetness rush past the condom and onto him as she came. He quickly followed, thrusting deeply into her as he emptied himself again. They lay quietly for a moment before he slipped out of the bed to discard the condom. He returned and pulled her in close to him, kissing the top of her head.

"Dick, we need to talk about this." Of course they did, but he had been hoping to delay it, mostly with sex.

"Sure," he responded. "But you want to eat something first? Any chance you like sausage for breakfast?" He gave her a huge smile.

"Maybe tomorrow," she said rolling her eyes. He took that as a good sign. So he might still be in her bed tomorrow? And she might be doing more new things to drive him crazy? "What I really need right now is coffee. I totally can't figure all this out sans caffeine"

"Well let's get you some coffee then. That is one thing in the kitchen I actually know how to work. Anything special I should use?"

" _Shit._ " He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I forgot, I'm totally out. I've been drinking the crap they keep at the Mars office. I meant to pick some up yesterday." She looked more miserable than he had seen her in the past few hours.

"No big. I need to get my car anyway. I'll grab a cab and pick some up on the way back." Dick stood and began throwing on some clothes.

"Noooo. I don't want you to leave," she smiled up at him. He felt his stomach turn over. He had been sure she was going to tell him that she had been drunk, or upset, or some other reason that their night of passion could be only that – a single night. Now it seemed like maybe she wanted more. Mac felt a little embarrassed as he stared down at her, not speaking. "Ok, fine. Yes please go get me some coffee, that would be amazing."

"As you wish," he said with a playful grin. Girls always seemed to like that line. He grabbed his phone to order the cab and threw on the rest of his clothes, having to search for some of them in her living room. "I'll be back soon," he told her, "Don't you dare get dressed!"

* * *

Mac was still lying in bed. Once Dick was gone, the reality of what had happened started to hit her. This was _Dick_. But try as she might, she couldn't really feel the emotions she knew she was supposed to feel – horror, disgust, revulsion. Instead she found herself smiling, thinking of something funny he had said or imagining his arms around her. She knew they needed to talk, and she also knew she would probably have to do the heavy lifting in that area. Did she really want to be Dick's girlfriend? She definitely did NOT want to have to explain that to Veronica.

Still… after last night she couldn't imagine just being friends anymore. He had definitely insinuated that this was something he had wanted to do for a while, and she doubted seriously she could even hear him talk without thinking of the other amazing things he could do with his tongue. To her. Maybe they could put off the talking for a little longer once he got back.

Speaking of, it had been at least 45 minutes and the trip really shouldn't have taken more than thirty. Maybe the Hut was busy, or there had been traffic. She tried not to let anything worse cross her mind. She thought about calling him but that seemed particularly needy at this juncture, especially considering they hadn't really defined anything yet. So she opted for distraction instead and decided to call Veronica to make sure she was doing well, and to also possibly subtly suggest she stay at Logan's for the remainder of the day even though they had talked about grabbing lunch.

" _Good morning Mac Attack! What is up with my favorite girl?"_ Veronica's chipper voice came over the line.

"Mmmm, clearly you have already had the coffee I so desperately seek." Her response was somewhat less enthused.

" _Forget to pick some up again? No worries, I can grab some and head over if you want."_

"No, no don't worry about it. In fact, you should probably stay over at Logan's, I think I might be getting a cold or something," she said, forcing a fake sniffle and trying to sound miserable, something surprisingly hard for her to do right then.

" _Oh, ok then, well then I –shit. What? Dude, watch it."_ Mac felt her stomach drop as she heard a recognizable grumble in the background.

" _Sorry Mac,"_ Veronica's voice returned a few moments later, " _Dick just came stumbling in and tripped all over my stuff, I think he's still drunk or something. Do you know what happened to him last night after we left?... Mac?_ "

"Sorry no, I umm, I'm feeling sick again you should really stay there bye." The words came out in a rush and she hurried to hang up the phone before she fell victim to an onslaught of tears. Mac wasn't a crier really, although recently she had seen more tears when drinking with Dick.

Shit, was that some sort of harbinger? She couldn't believe Dick would have just left her like that, played her and then snuck out under cover of coffee. Who the hell _does_ that? It's not like she had made some big plans to marry him, they hadn't even talked. She found it hard to believe he had been lying about everything he said, but then she had heard the evidence on the phone. Clearly he wasn't coming back and he had no plans to let her know the how or why of it. Fuck coffee, she went straight for the wine.

* * *

She had just finished crying again, for the last time she swore, about nine hours later when the text came through.

 _Sorry_.

The screen cracked when she threw the phone against the wall, but she couldn't care less.


	8. Chapter 8

Mac was late to work on Monday because there was a long line at the Apple store where she went to get her phone fixed. By the time she made it in, Veronica had come and gone, already out working on a case. That suited Mac just fine because she didn't think she was quite up for putting on a happy face, and she also didn't know if she could pass Veronica's BS detector with any lies. She had barely slept the night before, and the broken coffee maker at the office just made her want to start crying again. Seriously, who can be expected to live on instant coffee?

She could barely concentrate on work and no matter how hard she tried visions of Dick rushing into the office, throwing out all kinds of apologies and declaring his love for her kept breaking into her thoughts. She found herself glancing down at her phone incessantly and seemed on the brink of even more tears at every moment. If Keith Mars noticed anything out of place with his favorite techie's demeanor, he did not comment on it.

Later that day Veronica texted to let her know this job looked like an all-nighter. Fine with Mac, with any luck Veronica would be kept away long enough for her to pull herself together and get by without anyone knowing what sort of things she had done with Dick, and the humiliation that had shortly followed.

* * *

Tuesday proved to be a little different. Veronica was sleeping in after finally getting what she needed for her case, and Keith was out meeting with the client to discuss what she had found.

Mac was somewhat impressed with her own progress. She had left sad and was now approaching mad. Very very mad. She still couldn't get Dick out of her head, but instead of imagining his embraces and unsaid apologies, she stayed focused on the memories that should have been more front of mind the night in question.

 _Dick mocking her and Cassidy pretty much every time he saw them together._

 _Dick almost punching Cassidy after that prank at the winter carnival._

 _Dick banging on her dorm room door drunk, only to tell her his brother had never cared about her._

Sure, he had apologized for those things, but clearly he was far from reformed.

 _Dick sleeping with her and taking off with no explanation or even a phone call. Only a sorry ass "sorry" text that merely told her he was still alive and could work a phone._

Mac was glad neither of the Mars detectives were around to hear her banging on her computer, a fierce look on her face.

Veronica finally stopped by after lunch, but only to quickly grab some notes and finish up on the Greene case she had been working so hard on. "Hey Mac, feeling better?" She asked.

"Mmphh" was all she got in response.

"You know, now that this case is closing up it should be a little slower here, maybe you should go home and rest up?" Veronica's voice was full of concern and while Mac preferred her to assume it was just some illness that had her out of sorts, she also really needed the distraction of work. Sulking or seething at home for hours didn't seem like a good idea at all.

"No thanks, I have some upgrades I want to get done and I don't feel that bad anyway."

Veronica seemed to take this at face value and left for the day, Mac didn't see her again until the next morning, when she was caught yelling obscenities at the broken coffee maker.

"Seriously Mac, wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" Mac gave her very disgruntled look.

"How am I supposed to be happy when there is no real coffee in this place," she said with her eyes accusingly on Veronica, who threw her hands up in surrender.

"I know, I know, I said I would replace that a week ago and I will absolutely do it today. Absolutely. Real coffee coming up tomorrow." Mac sighed, she knew she was being unfairly pissy, but she just couldn't seem to control her anger.

"Sorry Veronica, I'm just having a bad day I guess."

"Day? Sure. Whatever. How about this, tonight you trade in those cranky pants you've been wearing all week for a hot little number and we will go out on the town! Boys better watch themselves tonight!" She did a little dance.

"Oh, that's ok I should probably just—"

"Just what exactly?" Veronica interrupted. "Just get your groove on with your bestie because we haven't hung out just the two of us lately and with the Greene case cracked I am two for two in as many weeks baby!" Veronica's grin was slightly infectious, and Mac allowed herself a small smile.

"Ok crazy lady, but if you dance like that in front of people I'm gonna act like I don't know you."

"Deal."

* * *

Mac wasn't exactly thrilled about a night on the town, but she tried to psyche herself up since it was better than having to explain herself to Veronica. She drove the two of them over to their favorite club, and she couldn't help but smile as the bouncer gave them both appreciative looks before letting them in. Maybe she did need a night out.

Her optimism didn't last long though, they had barely made it inside the club before she heard Veronica squeal, "Oh look who it is!".

"Hello there, lover," came the response in a voice Mac would know anywhere. She just went from girls' night project to third wheel. She spun around to greet Logan and was shocked to see he wasn't alone; Dick was staring at his friend in disbelief.

"Dude, when I said guys' night I meant not with Veronica."

Logan rolled his eyes, "What, she's here with Mac, we can still totally hang." Dick quickly glanced up and his eyes froze on Mac's who quickly turned away, looking anywhere but at him. She could barely breathe and was aware of a tightening in her chest, she felt like someone had hit the off switch on her brain and it was all she could do to keep herself from crying (seriously, wasn't she a little old for the girl gene to kick in?).

"Oh," Dick finally chimed in. "Ok, I'll go grab some beers."

Dick had been gone for a few minutes and Mac still couldn't move, she could hardly breathe.

She heard Logan and Veronica talking but it barely registered.

"Whatever, all guys' night means to Dick is let's go out drinking and meet women. This way I get to dance with a hot chick without getting my ass kicked after." _Logan_.

"Oooh, well Mac and I are on for some girl time so you get one dance and I better not catch you talking to any other ladies tonight, mister. You got me?" _Veronica_.

"Mac, one dance and we'll be right back. K?... Mac?" Shit. That was directed at her.

"Sure, whatever," she answered, not really clear on the question.

She stood there for a another minute before it occurred to her that the only thing to do was get the hell out as soon as possible. She had just started turning towards the door when Dick appeared, four beers in tow. Looking around for Logan and Veronica he held one out for her. Not trusting herself to speak she gave him a quick shake of the head.

"Where'd they go?" She nodded to the dance floor and started toward the door again.

"Mac… Mac, wait." Dick moved after her, dropping the drinks on a nearby table. Her body moved to face him of its own volition, her brain still shouting _Go! Go! Go!._ "Mac listen, I know I like really fucked up and shit. I know, I just need to talk to you ok? Can we just like, talk?"

She finally looked up at him and thought he looked like he was about to shit himself. It would've been funny if she could remember what funny was. She didn't realize she was just staring at him until he spoke again. "Mac? Listen, I'm really sorry, ok."

This was too much for her, finally the anger took over and allowed her to speak. "Sorry? Yeah I know, I got your _text_ ," her words drenched with betrayal. Dick looked like she had punched him in the stomach.

"Mac," he repeated, his voice a whisper, "c'mon we just need to talk about this ok?"

"We really don't," her voice coming back to her, sounding more confident than she felt. "In fact, what would be great is if we could not talk about it. Like ever. Just pretend it never happened, ok? I'm sure you should be able to handle that Dick," she spat, her eyes throwing daggers.

He swallowed. "Is that really what you want?"

"What I want is to not have to pretend, to go back in time and offer myself some sanity pills, but since that isn't an option yes, please, let's just forget the entire thing." She turned and left, not bothering to tell Veronica. She didn't notice when Dick came out shortly after her, abandoning the beers and their friends to also head home to another night of solitude.

* * *

Veronica apologized profusely the next day, feeling terrible that her planned outing to cheer Mac up had made her feel worse. Mac shrugged it off, blaming her abandonment on illness and PMS. Whether Veronica thought Mac was upset their evening had been crashed, or if she knew Dick was involved with her not wanting to stay wasn't clear, but either way the blonde didn't push it. Still, Mac didn't find herself on any surprise double dates with Dick over the next couple of weeks. In fact, she didn't see Dick at all. Usually there was a party at their place eventually, but no invitations came.

Not seeing Dick for long periods of time was certainly not weird, but she couldn't decide if she was happy or upset about it. Her anger had somewhat faded, but there was still a very hurt part of her that wanted an explanation, that wanted Dick to reassure her that everything she had felt that night wasn't fake. She pushed this part down very deep and instead told herself that Dick was who he was, just because he was attracted to her didn't mean he was suddenly "boyfriend material". It was her own fault for thinking it might be more than just a drunken hook up, she had probably scared him away. Mac knew she shouldn't blame herself, but she also knew Dick well enough that she shouldn't have been surprised. Finally she settled on trying to be happy to put as much time as possible between them so she could to act as normal as possible if and when the elusive Mr. Casablancas reappeared into her life.

It finally happened one Thursday. Veronica had left her phone at the office and Mac knew she was having lunch with Logan at a nearby diner; she did not know Dick was joining them when she decided to drop the phone by to her on her own way to lunch. The exchange was remarkably unremarkable.

"Hey Veronica, just wanted to drop you this."

"Thanks! Hey you wanna join us?"

Dick looked up at her when Veronica asked, trying to give an inviting smile that just looked awkward. "Yeah, these dudes make an awesome burger," he added, his face contorting as he remembered that she didn't eat burgers.

She let it slide, "No thanks, got my stomach set on some pizza at the vegan joint." He gave her a wave and she was gone.

She suspected Veronica was extra careful around her the rest of the day, even bringing her back a cup of coffee from the Hut after lunch, but maybe she was just imagining things.

* * *

The first real time she had to hang out with Dick was unexpected, for everyone it seemed. She had been kind of bored lounging around one Sunday, and Veronica invited her to crash a movie date she had with Logan. She had wanted to see the film anyway, and she figured she would have something to pay attention to besides the lovebirds so why not? When they entered the theater to find Logan with Dick, Mac saw the surprise and concern on Veronica's face. Logan quickly jumped up, surprise also on his face.

"Hey Mac! I didn't know you would be here," he gave Veronica a look that said _this is not my fault_. "Dick was moping around the house so I drug him out here too since I knew he was looking forward to seeing this."

So Veronica and Logan knew she didn't want to be in the same room as Dick, or maybe that he didn't want to be in the same room as her? Had Dick told Logan what had happened? That seemed unlikely, as there was no way Veronica would have been so passive about her sleeping with Dick, and she would definitely not be having lunch with him if she knew he had bailed on Mac like he did.

Mac felt confident the two were just making guesses so she just shrugged. "Whatever."

Dick was standing by, a bored look on his face as he rolled his eyes at Logan's stammered explanation. "I'll be in in a minute, gonna grab some munchies."

Mac sat next to Veronica, and was a little nervous when she heard Dick coming down the aisle on her side. She thought she had handled his presence well enough but she didn't know about sitting next to him in a dark room for 90 plus minutes. Feeling the heat that always seemed to radiate off of him. Smelling the ocean on him. _Stop_ , she told herself firmly, but was glad when he turned into the row behind her, passing drinks to Logan and Veronica, then herself. He handed the couple a tub of popcorn to share, then gave her her own smaller bag and some candy.

"Didn't know what you like," he mumbled, sitting back in his seat behind her.

"Thanks," she whispered. She tried to focus on the movie, but found herself fighting the urge to turn around and look at him constantly. Occasionally she would hear his bright chuckle and would find herself smiling, only to smack herself back into reality where she felt on the edge of tears. She was glad it was a dark room.

After the movie Dick suggested they all go out and grab a beer and some food, he mentioned one of the Thai places he knew that had a big vegetarian selection he thought, glancing quickly at her before turning back to Logan. She must have looked uncomfortable because Veronica jumped in before she could speak.

"That's cool, I think we were actually going to order some food and go over some case stuff for tomorrow." Logan looked disappointed but Mac was grateful for the excuse, she just hoped she wasn't the case in question.

* * *

Fortunately Veronica didn't question Mac on why she suddenly didn't want to be around Dick. She had her suspicions, most of which circled around Dick making an obscene comment to Mac either about sex, money, or Cassidy. Truth be told she was fearful it was the last thing, which is why she hadn't pushed Mac to explain why she was avoiding the surfer. Mac did her best to act normal, and Veronica figured whatever had happened, Mac was trying to ignore it and move on so it was safe to broach the topic she had been avoiding with her for the past week.

"Sooo… Logan's birthday is coming up and we were thinking of doing a cookout at the beach house next Saturday," she said slowly, trying to gauge Mac's reaction.

"Sounds fun," Mac answered noncommittally. Veronica took this, and the movie, as a good sign that whatever weirdness was going on with Dick and Mac was getting better.

"Great, so you'll be there right? There will be food and general merriment making!" Mac hesitated but couldn't come up with a good reason to miss Logan's party that wouldn't require more explanation than she was prepared to give. Besides, Logan was her friend, if mainly by association. She felt a momentary flash of anger at Dick, she certainly wasn't going to stop hanging out with her friends and doing what she wanted because he was an idiot. If Dick felt weird about her being there let him deal with it, she was done missing out on events and making Veronica feel awkward about inviting her places, she didn't do anything wrong and from now on she wasn't going to act like she did. She gave Veronica a big smile.

"Definitely."


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks for the reviews! I will continue to update regardless (lurkers need MaDi too!), but it is awesome to know people are enjoying. Some parts at least ;D. I promise Dick's behavior will be addressed... eventually._

* * *

Logan's party was very crowded, mostly with people Mac didn't know. She briefly wondered where all of these people came from, she was around Logan a lot of the time and she didn't remember any of them, still she was glad it wasn't just her and Dick joining their bestie couple since Wallace had been unable to attend the bash. If she thought she could avoid Dick, however, she was wrong. He seemed to have a new found confidence around her and instead of looking scared shitless like she was going to lose it on him at any moment he greeted her with a big grin and immediately brought her a drink. He then brought her over to a group of people talking about whose phone had the best features and introduced her before heading off. "Come find me at the grill when you get hungry." She was grateful she didn't have to approach anyone new on her own, although she was definitely more confident about that then her younger self was, and she made small talk with the group for a while before deciding to grab some food. She had started filling her plate from the veggie tray when she heard her name being called.

"Mac! Mac, come here!" Dick was shouting at her with a big grin on his face and she looked down to see he was wearing an apron that said _Kiss the Cook_ with a large arrow pointing… not up. She rolled her eyes while walking over - if Dick could act normal, well, so could she.

"Yes?" she said, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"Grab a bun, I got you a portabella yummy burger coming off." Mac did as instructed and held her plate out.

"Thanks," she said slowly, never knowing Dick to have a non-meat selection available at any party.

"It's my first one so let me know how delicious it is," he gave her a wink. She smiled, a bit confused by his sudden bff behavior, but taking the food and wandering off to try it out. It was amazing, of course. Seriously, was the universe against her? Did Dick really have to be awesome at everything except showing up? As if on cue, the blonde swept into the seat across from her.

"Good burger?" She nodded, trying her best to look noncommittal. He smiled anyway. "Cool, hey come 'ere I want to show you something awesome." He hurried over to a small corner near his speaker setup. "Ok, see those lights hanging over there?" She nodded again, her neck was going to start aching soon but she was having trouble coming up with any words. He didn't seem to mind though, continuing to chat away like they were best buds. "Watch this." He played with some settings on the phone, and Mac watched as they danced to different patterns at his request. He wiggled his eyebrows at her, clearly proud of his new toy. "And watch this," he said, putting on some new tunes. Now the lights danced to some pop breakout song Mac was sure she should know, but couldn't place. Dick was dancing along, his fancy lights twinkling behind him. It was a funny sight and Mac couldn't help but laugh. Sure, the lights weren't exactly the most technologically impressive thing, but Mac didn't have any and they were pretty cool.

"Very impressive, Dick," she said with a smile. A _real_ own grin grew wider as he shimmied a little closer to her, drawing her to some pop music booty shakin'. She went along, giggling, feeling his arm reach around her waist, his breath suddenly close on her ear, his smell- Mac froze, suddenly very aware of her position next to Dick.

"I, umm, I'm gonna go grab a beer," she stammered, walking away slowly.

"I can get it for you," he offered, afraid to be left standing alone without her once again.

"It's fine," she insisted, "I need to talk to Veronica about something anyway." And with that, she was gone.

Mac found her much needed alcohol and headed off in search of Veronica. What the hell? Sure, she didn't want to waste time hating Dick but that didn't mean she needed to spend time bumping and grinding with him. Ok, maybe it had been a bit more innocent than that but she was moving on from the hurt he had caused her, did she really want to stir that up again?

 _Yes_. Maybe she needed a brain check up because right now she was inclined to abandon her search for Vee, turn around, and see what might happen if she met Dick back on the dance floor. Thankfully, (maybe?), Veronica appeared right in the midst of her indecision.

"Having a good time, Q?" Veronica had a plate full of food on her, unsurprisingly.

"Not bad, Vee, not bad. Considering how far above this lifestyle of luxury and debauchery I typically live." Veronica snickered.

"Seriously," she nodded behind Mac, "Speaking of, looks like Dick has found his latest victim." Mac whirled around to see Dick playfully smiling with a busty blonde in what could barely be classified as a bikini. Mac felt her stomach drop, and an involuntary flush spread up through her neck. She took a deep breath to regain control of her body before turning back to Veronica.

"Mmmm," was all she said, taking a deep swig of her beer. "You know, I think I'm gonna go ahead and head out," she added, glancing at her watch.

"Already?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah," Mac handed Veronica her barely touched beer. "Go crazy, I'll talk to you tomorrow." Veronica watched her friend leave, hoping the rest of the evening would improve Mac's mood.

A few minutes later Dick wandered over to where Veronica now sat, looking around. "Ronnie, you see where Mac Attack went? I want to finish showing her this light setup I got."

"Sorry Dick," the blonde responded, "she just left to go get ready."

"Ready?" Dick asked, confused. "Did she not know it was a pool party?" he leered. "Please tell me she is going to get some itty bitty -"

"Just stop there, please," Veronica interrupted. "She actually has a date tonight." Veronica turned to find Logan, leaving Dick with a strange feeling in his chest he didn't want to spend time examining. Instead, he headed for the bar.

* * *

A few hours and many shots later, Dick approached the blonde who had been drooling over him earlier. Knowing Mac was around and willing (if hesitant) to actually talk to him, he had tried to escape the vapid and desperate girl as quickly as possible. Dick usually found these traits convenient in a woman, but lately it hadn't seemed worth the minimal effort to get them into bed. He staggered up to the girl, not sure of her name. She turned to him giggling as he reached for her waist.

"So, you wanna fuck?" She froze at his slurred words, mouth agape. "I mean, if you don't maybe you could just suck my dick in the bathroom or something?" He leaned forward, whispering in her ear, "You don't mind if I call you _Ghostworld_ do you?" The girl finally recovered from her shock and reached up and slapped him hard on the face, turning heel and stalking off while Dick stumbled back. A few minutes later a slightly drunk Logan ushered him up to bed.

* * *

Mac hadn't wanted to say yes when Josh had asked her out, but she also couldn't think of a reason not to. At least, not a _good_ reason. He was tall, dark, handsome. Attractive by any standards, and an electrical engineer who designed many of the hardware parts she made use of in her own work. He was not Dick. He was definitely not Dick. But he did surf, and when she closed her eyes and smelled the ocean on him she came twice when they were in bed later that night.


	10. Chapter 10

Veronica had chosen a bad day for her celebration party. It wasn't her fault, really, she had enough bad days to remember without this one. Mac probably wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't had one Dick Casablancas running through her head (without permission of course) these days.

It had been almost two months since she had last seen him at Logan's party, yet she couldn't stop him from wandering into her thoughts late at night, sometimes when another man's arms were around her. She knew it was ridiculous. Everything with Dick had been a mistake, but for a few hours she had managed to recapture that feeling you have for someone when you're young, when crazy things seem inevitable and any thoughts of the future involve a narrow road of happiness next to a sunshine smile. It had been a very long time since she had felt that kind of excitement, but then again she had never been that big on sunshine anyway.

Veronica had called her the morning after Logan's party, mostly to check in on her evening with Josh. She had told her most of the details, although at the time she wasn't sure she should see him again. "It's not anything specific, I just don't know if I'm that into him," Mac had told her friend.

"C'mon Mac, you always do this. Was he bad in bed?" Well no, she couldn't fault him for that. "Then just stick with him a little longer, maybe you just need to get to know each other better before the butterflies come around! Just be glad he isn't besties with someone like Dick." Mac's ears had perked up at that.

"Any specific reason why?"

Veronica sighed, "Just bitching. Dick got shitfaced and Logan had to spend his birthday evening tucking him into bed. Some girl slapped the hell out of him after he apparently asked her to give him head in the bathroom." Mac heard more annoyed sighing as she felt her stomach twist. "All I'm saying is, until you have a valid reason to dump him you should get some yummy meals and good sex out of it!" Mac had acquiesced.

Now, eight weeks later, her and Josh had developed what had recently been defined as an exclusive relationship. She did really enjoy his company (all parts of it!) even if she still didn't have the butterflies. So even though it was a shitty day, Mac figured she and Josh could have a good time at Veronica's celebration party, especially seeing as it was Mac's handiwork that had gotten Vee the evidence she needed for this particular win.

Unfortunately she wasn't the only one who hadn't wanted to spend the evening alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Logan hadn't thought twice about inviting Dick to the party when he saw he got the call. "Dude, you wanna go out and pahr-tay? I know some hot chicas that will be at the 09er tonight!" He had obviously started pre-gaming alone. What should have triggered the warning bells was when Dick had agreed to come to Veronica's with him instead. Still… sometimes Dick had those nights where he couldn't be by himself. Logan tried not to think too much on why, and just tried to be there for the guy. At least Veronica's place was pretty small, he thought it should be pretty easy to keep an eye on him.

Mac was going to get Josh a beer when she found Dick alone in the kitchen, pouring himself a shot. She had seen him around the party but had been very good about avoiding him. Or maybe he had just been hiding by the whiskey bottle the last hour? She thought about turning tail and letting Josh get his own brew, but Dick had already looked up.

"Mackie…" he slurred slightly, "come have a birthday shot with me." She crossed over to the refrigerator and got Josh's beer, then slowly walked closer to Dick.

"Maybe later. Have you considered a birthday water, or club soda instead?" He rolled his eyes and poured her a glass, smirking slightly when she took it. "Fine. One shot, then you'll cut it out with the liquor?"

He downed his shot and reached for the beer in her hand. "Whatever you say, Mackadoodle," he said, cracking open the bottle to chase with. She slowly sipped her glass of whiskey and started back towards the fridge, only to be pulled back by his hand on hers. "Stay." Dick's voice shocked her with its sudden and frightening sobriety. "Talk to me."

At the moment Josh came through the door, looking around only to see Mac swiftly pull her hand from Dick's, her face slightly pink. "Josh… I was just grabbing you that beer…" she turned quickly back to the fridge. Josh stood silently by, probably an imposing figure to anyone not as hammered and uncaring as Dick was at that moment. Mac handed Josh the beer and looked over at Dick, who was staring bullets at her new beau. "Here you go, let's go find Veronica," Mac said swiftly while Josh looked at her and then back to Dick meaningfully, clearly asking to be introduced. Mac just tried to push him out of the room.

"Come on, Mackie," came a once again slurred voice. "Let's you and me ditch this party and head off to the Grand. Maybe we can have a birthday drink at that new rooftop bar?" His words cut into her as Josh whirled around and looked at her, his expression clearly stating his unspoken words. _What the fuck?_

"Seriously Dick, have some soda or something," her words were quiet and pleading.

"I don't wanna soda… _I want you_ ," he grabbed her by one of her belt loops and pulled her toward him, "to come have a drink with me."

"Dude, what the hell?" Clearly, Josh was no longer willing to ignore the way Dick was behaving. "My girlfriend is not going to some bar with you." He was a menacing figure with at least half a foot on Dick. Dick laughed and looked at Mac, completely unfazed.

"This dude's your boyfriend," he said, still not looking at Josh.

"Yes Dick, this _dude_ is my boyfriend," she said patiently, as though talking to a child.

"No way. Definitely not your type," he replied darkly.

Mac turned pink and turned to Josh. "Can you please go find Logan or Veronica?"

"Seriously Mac? I'm not leaving you alone with this guy," Josh said protectively.

"It's fine," she replied. "He just needs to get home." She looked back at Dick. "Logan's going to take you home now, you should sleep it off." She looked at Josh pleadingly and he went off in search of Logan with a disgruntled look on his face.

Dick's face turned serious once more as he reached out for Mac's hand again, "Please… Mackie, don't-"

"Stop Dick." Mac pulled away, struggling to keep in the tears she could feel rushing to her eyes. "Just don't. I don't care what day it is, you don't get to talk to me that way." She took a deep breath to calm herself, and looked at him resolutely. "Logan's going to take you home. Just go to bed, don't drink anymore. Sleep it off and tomorrow will be a little bit better. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, ok." Dick said softly, looking at her like a puppy who had just been kicked. Whatever, it wasn't her job to babysit him, and she chastised herself for feeling guilty about it.

They both overheard Josh coming towards the kitchen. "Dude, did you forget your friend's birthday or something? He's downing shots and keeps trying to get my girlfriend to go to some bar with him for birthday drinks."

Logan's voice followed, "What? It's not Dick's birthday. He isn't - oh fuck." The footsteps came faster. "Dick? Hey man, I'm sorry," Logan looked at his friend cautiously, not sure what state he was really in.

Dick shrugged. "Whatever, let's just get out of here." Logan gave Mac an apologetic look as he walked Dick out the door. Veronica had entered behind them and now moved out of their way, Josh looking astonished at how easily Dick had agreed to leave.

Having overheard the last part of Josh and Logan's conversation, Veronica now looked at Mac with concern. "I'm sorry Mac, I had no idea. I-"

"It's fine Vee. Why would you know? It doesn't even matter to me. I seriously didn't even remember until I saw him."

Josh looked at Mac, confused. "Is someone going to let me in on what the hell just happened?" Veronica raised her eyebrows at Josh's angry reaction, but Mac did feel like he was owed an explanation. So much for a night of fun.

* * *

"Vee, I told you it's fine. Honestly." Mac repeated herself for what had to be the fifth time. "I already told Josh I wouldn't make it, he's out with his friends, I'm sure they'll have fun." Three weeks had passed since Mac had given Josh the Cliff Notes version of the bus crash saga, and he hadn't asked her to explain any more than she had told him the first night. Veronica, on the other hand, had spent many nights debating what this type of personal divulgence (which Mac had not done with any previous boyfriends) could mean for their long term couplehood. Mac's continued disinterest in the topic had eventually sent Veronica toward a different conclusion.

Veronica sighed into the phone, "I just feel bad, but I know Dad wants to look through as much info as we can get for him before he leaves… and you're sure you're not just using this to put off breaking up with him?"

Mac rolled her eyes, "I don't even know for sure I want to, just get me the files and we can girl chat over wine once I crack the encryption."

"Uploading them as we speak. I'll be over in 5 with food and wine."

Ten minutes later Veronica arrived at the office. "You look smokin'!" Veronica whistled.

"Yeah, I know, I had a hot date I canceled at the last minute," Mac replied, giving Veronica a pointed look and then smiling. "Good thing you have no idea how lazy some people are with encryption. The files should be open in the next 15 minutes and we can get your dad the stuff he wants."

"Seriously? I knew you were good but.. Ooooh does that mean we can still hit up the '09er? I mean I put on my new very berry kissyface lip gloss and everything…" Veronica gave her most excited fake girl smile.

"Why not? But I'm having another glass of wine first. Even my mad computer skills don't pay for too many '09er drinks." Veronica smiled and picked up the phone, walking out of the room.

She returned a few minutes later. "Dick and Logan will be picking us up in twenty, so another glass for me too please!"

"Dick's coming?" Mac made her question sound as innocent as she could.

"Yeah, but no worries. You know Dick, he'll disappear to start harassing poor young girls as soon as we get there and Josh won't even know he's there. He really hates him, hmmm?" Veronica asked as she took a sip of her freshly poured glass. Josh's distaste for Dick was one of the traits Veronica liked in him the most.

"He doesn't even know him, he just got really annoyed with him at your party that time." Truthfully, Josh clearly couldn't stand Dick even though they had only met the one time. Mac had of course given him a quick overview on their shared history (making a point to stop right after the college years) and Josh hadn't pushed for more info, seeing how uncomfortable Mac was discussing it. Still, it seemed he wasn't entirely convinced there wasn't more to the story and he had a special scowl for whenever Dick's name came up. Fortunately that only happened when they were out with Vee and Logan, and even then not often.

"Well, whatever, as long as you aren't planning on dumping him on his birthday, I could do without any drama tonight."

Mac sighed heavily, "No, I think I will let him please me in the boudoir at least one more time before that happens, I mean it _is_ his birthday." She giggled, definitely noticing the effects from her wine.

Veronica laughed. "Yes, the gift of giving is really the best gift of all," she said seriously.


	11. Chapter 11

By the time Dick and Logan arrived the girls had polished off the bottle of wine, and were in fairly good spirits. Mac sobered a bit when she saw Dick, and was thankful he wasn't enough of a gentleman to offer Veronica his shotgun position. Luckily Veronica and Logan filled the air with conversation while generic pop music hummed in the background.

Mac made the mistake of glancing at the rearview mirror, where she found Dick looking back at her. She quickly looked away wondering why every shitty pop song had to be about broken hearts and stolen looks. Staring out the window for the remainder of the ride, she barely noticed they had arrived until Logan opened her door, looking at her expectantly.

The four were quickly ushered into the bar, the benefits of being with Logan and Dick including no lines and quick service. "You see the birthday boy, Mac? I wanna see his surprised face!" Veronica led them around the corner to the dance floor and the girls both looked around.

It wasn't clear who saw it first. Mac came to a dead stop, causing Dick to bump into her. "Dude, what are you doing?"

Veronica had also stopped, and slowly looked at Mac in horror. "Oh Mac," she whispered.

It took Logan and Dick a moment to see what was going on, not that it was hidden. Josh, easy to spot by his stature, dancing very closely with a redhead, her pink tongue dashing in and out of his mouth.

Logan's body stiffened, he looked over at Mac as though asking what to do. Preparing to march over and have a few words with the guy before having him kicked out of the club, he looked over to see that Dick was long gone. Moving towards Josh he saw Dick pull him away from the girl, and then heard a collective gasp from the surrounding patrons as Dick punched Josh square in the face, grabbing his collar and not letting up until they were both on the ground in what could only be described as an all out brawl.

"Dick!" Logan ran over and helped pull his friend off Josh, although part of him wanted to join in. He could see security making their way over and he looked down to assess the damage. Josh was holding his bleeding nose and was hunched in pain in the middle, but as far as Logan could tell he looked like he would live. He looked up to see that security had arrived with a ton of questions on their lips, but Dick was nowhere to be found.

* * *

Mac had seen enough and had requested a cab on her phone app before she was even halfway out the door. As though having her best friend and entourage witness her supposed boyfriend cheating in public wasn't humiliating enough, she got to add Dick stepping in like he was some kind of goddamn romantic movie hero to her memory. She didn't condone violence, but as far as she was concerned they could both get kicked out or arrested or whatever because she didn't want to see either of them again anytime soon. He had some fucking nerve, abandoning her like she was just some random piece of ass not even worthy of a fucking goodbye, we should _not_ do this again some time, and then acting like he was so much better than her shitty, cheating boyfriend. Maybe they would get stuck in lockup together, that might make her feel a little better.

She didn't get her wish though. As soon as Logan had pulled Dick off Josh he had scanned the room for Mac, imagining her broken and in tears, in need of his comforting embrace. Truthfully he hadn't been trying to impress her or anything, he had just been overcome with rage that this idiot would have treated Mac like that. Still, when he saw her exiting the building he knew it was more important to be by her side than to worry about this asshat.

"Mac! Hey, wait up. Mac!" Dick shouted to her retreating form in the parking lot but she didn't slow down. His long legs rushed to meet up with hers, and he took her by the arm and spun her so they were face to face. "Hey, are you ok?"

"What the hell is wrong with you Dick," Mac yelled while trying to hold back tears. Her whole body was shaking, but her angry stance made it clear she didn't want any comfort from him.

"What? What are you talking about? That guy's an asshole Mac, I wasn't going to just stand there and let some dude hurt you like that!" Dick didn't understand how he was the bad guy here, Josh definitely had it coming.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize hurting me was an exclusive club just for Casablancas men," she struggled to hold back tears. "Well don't worry Dick, your membership is still clean because he didn't hurt me, he was about to get dumped and probably knew it and I don't give a shit about him anyway. Lucky me, you got to hurt me bad enough Josh doesn't even rank." Her attempts to control her voice and her tears were failing. "I thought you… I thought we were at least friends. I never thought another guy would just abandon me like that… alone... naked..." her voice wavered and weakened. "Especially not… How could you do that?" It was now just a whisper, and the tears came freely.

Dick stood in shock. Sure, he knew he had fucked up, but he had never really compared the situation to what happened with Cassidy. He had never considered that she would think about it that way. He had no defense, an apology for something so huge just seemed absurd.

Mac's cab showed up and she climbed in wordlessly, firmly looking in the opposite direction of Dick once she got settled. Dick knocked on the driver's window and handed him a fifty. "Make sure she gets in ok." The driver nodded and pulled off, leaving Dick standing alone in the street.

* * *

As soon as they arrived home Veronica said she was exhausted and headed to bed. Dick looked at Logan, "Hey man, wanna hit the xbox?" Of course, what Logan really wanted to do was crawl in bed with his girlfriend and see if he could convince her to stay up a bit longer for some one on one action, but something about Dick's tone told him this wasn't just a request for late night gaming.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll grab some beers."

Dick was into beer number two and his character had died five times before he spoke. "I slept with Mac," he said, his voice low and monotone, almost as though he hoped Logan wouldn't realize what he was saying.

Logan was glad his mouth wasn't full of beer as he quickly turned to Dick, eyes wide. "Jesus Dick." He wasn't an idiot, he knew something had been up with the two of them but he just figured Dick had a little crush, or maybe some weird Beaver related thing had happened. Definitely not this.

"Yeah, I know." Dick gave up on the game and settled into the couch with a long sigh.

"When?" Dick didn't look at him; instead he focused intently on his beer.

"I don't know, about six months ago? We were out celebrating something Ronnie did, and you guys left and we were just having a good time together. She let me crash at her place and…" he trailed off while raising his eyebrows, assuming Logan could figure out the rest.

"Damn." Logan's brain was still trying to catch up. "So, how was it?" Dick finally looked up.

"Awesome. Some of my best work if I do say so myself." He gave Logan his usual leer but quickly looked back down, his face dropping.

"And how did you guys leave it?" Logan tried a leading question, sensing that Dick wanted to talk about it but was reluctant to get to the troubling stuff.

And there it was, the part Dick was dreading. The main reason he hadn't told Logan sooner. "Well, uh, I sort of left."

Logan rolled his eyes, "Yeah but did you guys talk at all first?" Dick looked down, embarrassed.

"Well I said I was going to get coffee, and then I got to the coffee place and, I don't know, I just freaked out. Like I started thinking about you and Ronnie and what a fucking whiny little bitch you turn into every time she dumps you, and I just was like, damn I don't want to be like that. And let's face it, we both know Mac wouldn't put up with me for very long. And if I'm all watching Grey's Anatomy and sniveling all over the couch who's gonna braid your hair and mop up your tears when Ronnie dumps you again, huh? Anyway, I just came here and passed out."

Logan swallowed hard to hold his tongue during Dick's trash talking, seeing as the guy was clearly going through some shit. "Dude, that's really…. _really_ bad," he said quietly.

"Don't you think I know that?" Dick's voice cracked a little when he responded. "I'm not exactly proud or anything." He bent over and rubbed his eyes.

"Did you apologize? Did you guys talk about it after at all?" Logan was shocked they had managed to get along these past few months if what Dick said was true, although he could definitely remember some times when Mac was not pleased to be in the same room as him.

"Yeah well I texted her that I was sorry that night, but she didn't seem very happy about that."

"You TEXTED her?"

"Well what was I gonna say? Thanks for letting me crash at your place. Sorry I fucked you and ditched you like a two dollar hooker." Dick chugged his beer and got up to get a new one.

"Does Veronica know?" Logan asked as Dick returned with a fresh bottle.

"I assume not, seeing as how she hasn't tazed me in the nut sack yet. Whatever, Mac said she wanted to pretend it never happened, and that's what I was trying to do until she went off on me tonight."

"What'd she say? Was she pissed you punched Josh? At least now I get why you went so crazy over it." Dick rolled his eyes. What was crazy was that the asshole was able to walk away, if Logan hadn't stopped him…

"I don't know, she was saying that like _he_ didn't hurt her, that _I'm_ the one that hurt her and basically she totally hates me." Dick closed his eyes with a long sigh. There it was.

Logan was quiet for a while. "So, how do you feel about her?" Dick looked at him in disbelief.

"Like that fucking matters. Did you hear the part where she totally hates me?"

"Yeah, I heard you Dick, and in my experience it's the people we care about that can hurt us the most. If she really wanted to forget what happened she wouldn't be so pissed you took off. But if she's still _that_ upset 6 months and a boyfriend later then it probably means she has some feelings for you." Logan explained it as simply as he could.

"Yeah," Dick snorted. "Feelings of hate."

"Listen man," Logan looked at Dick seriously. "First off, you have got to apologize. In person. To her face. And tell her what you're sorry for, don't just be like sorry, see you later. Then, you should just man up and tell her how you feel, figure out some way to get her to forgive you."

Dick was shaking his head. "She's not gonna dude. She super hates me."

"Do you wanna be with her?"

"It's not really up to me. I could do all this shit, try to make her forgive me and what if she still hates me? What if I keep trying and it doesn't even matter?" Logan couldn't remember ever hearing Dick sound so beat up over a girl.

"You have to apologize, Dick. And as for the rest, well it just comes down to whether or not she's worth it." Dick sat silent for a few minutes, finishing his beer. Logan couldn't really tell if he was thinking, or had just run out of words to say about it. Suddenly, Dick put down his beer and jumped up, looking around the room until he found his shoes which he began to put on. "What are you doing man?"

Dick looked up. "Going to apologize. Duh."

Logan got up from the couch and walked toward him "Dick, it's almost 1 in the morning. Wait until tomorrow." Dick looked like he might protest, so Logan stood in front of him until he took his shoes off.

"Whatever." Dick lumbered off to his room while Logan stayed behind, wondering how the hell he was going to keep this from Veronica.


	12. Chapter 12

Mac was lying on the couch watching cartoons when she heard the doorbell. _Who the hell could that be?_ Veronica would just walk in. _Josh?_ She so did not want to deal with him today. He would have to be stupider than she thought to try and apologize. It rang more persistently as she rolled herself off the couch to get it. Her brain must have been working more sluggishly than usual thanks to the previous night's events, because she was absolutely shocked to see Dick standing there, two coffees in hand. She stared at him for a few moments and immediately shut the door in his face. _Shit._

She remembered yelling at him, all the things she had been trying to keep down for the past six months tumbling out of her mouth despite her best efforts to just shut up. She knew she would have to deal with it eventually, but had hoped he would continue acting as though nothing had happened and in a few days she could face him, apologize for being so drunk and emotional, and move on. She did not expect him to be standing on her doorstep looking fit as ever with her favorite beverage in hand. And once Mac started thinking about the coffee her body betrayed her with an irresistible craving for it. She opened the door that Dick had been pounding on since she had closed it in his face, grabbed the coffee, and walked back to the couch to lie down.

Dick took her not slamming the door in his face a second time as a good sign, and cautiously stepped through the entrance, gently shutting the door behind him and going to sit next to her on the couch. He waited patiently while she took a few slow sips, watching her expression soften a bit as the warm liquid worked its magic.

"Mac?" he asked, "you ok?"

She glared at him over the lid of her cup and turned back to her cartoons. Dick repositioned himself on the couch so he could properly face her, taking a long gulp from his own cup.

"I, um, I wanted to make sure you were ok after last night, and you know, maybe talk and shit. Are you?" he raised his eyebrows pointedly at her. Mac sighed and turned off the television, figuring the sooner she could get this over with the better.

"Dick, if you have something to say just say it and go. I'm not really feeling up to a heart to heart with you right now."

Dick looked down at his lap, disappointed. "Right, ok." He wasn't exactly sure how he thought this would go, but he hadn't really prepared himself for a big speech. He figured when he saw her he would know what to say, how to apologize, but sorrys had never really been his thing and now that the moment was here he had no clue how to start.

"I ordered the coffee." He stared at his own cup while he spoke, unable to meet her eyes.

"Good job Dick," her tone was heavy with sarcasm, "that's typically how you get them to make it for you so I kinda figured as much."

He shook his head, realizing her confusion. He looked up and into her eyes, which were markedly unimpressed with his speech so far. "No, I mean, before. You know? I went to get the coffee and I put in the order. And the girl behind the counter, she, well she looked just like Ronnie, you know? Back in school when she used to work there? Logan would fucking make us stop by so he could stare at her or whatever. Totally creepy but you know…" She raised her eyebrows, pleading with him to get to the point. "I don't know what happened. I just freaked out. I mean, Logan just gets so destroyed by her, like all the time. Even when they're together, even now you know, she just has this power over him and it breaks him. I know he loves her and stuff but jesus, it shouldn't have to be so hard you know? I mean, with Madison the hardest part was when she was just being a bitch but so what? It didn't make me go all crazy like he does."

Dick sighed. Mac's face was unreadable, but he figured he should just go ahead and lay it all out on the table, he'd come this far. "It's just, with you it wasn't, I mean it wasn't like with other chicks. You're just really awesome and stuff, you know, and I guess I could finally see it. Why he puts up with all the shit for her and stuff." Dick's head dropped so he was staring into his lap, unable to meet her eyes anymore.

"But I was."

Dick looked up as she finally spoke, her eyes shiny. He looked at her questioningly.

"I was just like every other girl you slept with and bailed on. You made it like that, you made me into one of those idiots." Her voice was quiet, but firm.

"Mac, that wasn't what I wanted, I swear. I just got scared you know, I don't want to end up like him. I'm fucking broken enough already you know?" his voice dropped to a whisper. "I just knew you wouldn't be able to see me like I see you, not really, and I'd end up fucked up just like him," he shook his head slowly.

"So you figured the best way to save yourself from getting hurt was to hurt me? Let me be the one that gets fucked up? Thanks Dick, that was really awesome of you." She turned away as the tears threatened to spill out, wishing she had never opened the door.

"Mac, no, c'mon," he scooted in closer to her, wanting to comfort her but scared to touch her. "I wasn't thinking, I screwed up, I definitely know that, I didn't want you to get hurt, I never wanted that," he said, regaining some confidence in his voice. "I never want you to feel the way he made you feel, you know, never. I could just fucking hit myself for doing anything that even reminds you of that. I'm a fucking asshole and you should hate me, I deserve it."

His head dropped to his hands in his lap a he let out a deep breath. Mac knew she had been too harsh with him, bringing up Cassidy, and her stomach twisted up in guilt but she couldn't bring herself to speak, to try and take it back like she knew she should. Instead she just sat there, using every ounce of energy she had not to cry. Finally, Dick looked up.

"I'm just, I am so fucking sorry Mac. Besides Logan you are like the only person I give two shits about and I fucked it up." He rubbed his eyes. "Please tell me how to fix it. I'll do whatever you want, just please tell me I can fix it." She looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

"Are you done?" She needed him to be gone like, right now, she didn't think she could hold the tears back any longer.

"No," he said pleadingly. "Mac, please just talk to me ok? Tell me what I can do."

"You can go."

Dick swallowed hard. This isn't how he wanted this to go, she needed to know he really didn't see her like those other women, that she was the only one he wanted and he hated himself for hurting her. When she looked back at him he saw the tears falling from her eyes.

"Please just go," she whispered. Seeing her hurt like this was too much for him, he reached over and gently wiped the drops that had already fallen down her face. She didn't stop him, her cheeks burning where his fingers had been. For the moment all he could think about was making this better for her, comforting her so she wouldn't hurt. He leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against hers and slowly pushed her hair from her face, breathing softly against her. He took her lips in his, tasting the salt from the tears still flowing down her face. She let him kiss her, her body frozen by his touch, taking in his scent.

"Mac, I'm going to fix this ok? I swear I'm not a complete fuck up, I can make this right," he whispered softly to her, his hand holding her face close to his still. She pulled away, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry Dick, but you can't," her face screwed up in pain at hearing her own words.

Dick kneeled in front of her, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Mac, we've known each other for like, forever right?" She didn't respond, but didn't stop him from talking either. "And for like years, I didn't even know who you were, even care I guess. Then you started dating Cass, and you were just like this girl, this chick who was taking my brother away from me, and I know I was an ass to you but I just missed him I guess. And then, _after_ ," his gaze automatically dropped but he forced himself to look back up at her, "I guess I felt like it wasn't fair, like it wasn't fair for you to be hurt like I was when you only knew him a few months and he was my goddamn brother. You knew him and you were cool to him and he would probably miss you more than he ever missed me and I just couldn't handle that, you know? I know I was wrong, and stupid, but I just hated that someone else would have a part of him too. And then, after a while, I just hated that he hurt you. I was ashamed of what he had done, ashamed of him, ashamed of me. I just couldn't stand to look at you," his voice dropped and Mac could see tears forming in his eyes. "Seeing you was just this reminder of every bad thing I'd ever done to anyone, and all the bad things that came from it. Being around you always made me feel like a piece of shit, and maybe I deserve to feel that way, but still. And the worse part was you were always so fucking nice. You never called me out for all the crappy stuff I did, you forgave me even though I definitely didn't deserve it, it just made it all worse… the guilt. Fuck I was thrilled when Ronnie left town because it meant I didn't have to see you anymore." He took a deep breath.

"Even seeing you back here, at the reunion. I was such a fucking wreck. You'd think the guilt would have faded some but fuck no. Looking at you just hurt." He paused. "I always thought it was because of him, but I don't know now. I mean, one night. One fucking night and I go from hoping I never see you again to fucking not being able to get you out of my head. You were looking at me like… I don't know, like I was important or some shit. Like I wasn't the guy who caused you all this fucking pain, like I didn't have to feel guilty all the fucking time. How do you go from being scared shitless of running into someone to sitting around coming up with excuses to see them without seeming like a stalker? I know it took me longer than it should have to catch on, Mac, I know that. I'm a fucking coward and I screwed up. But I figured it out." His bit his lips as he looked up at her, once again forcing her to look back.

"You're the one, you know? You're the only one that gets me. You let me feel guilty without acting like I'm wrong or right for that. You let me _not_ feel guilty without acting like I'm wrong or right for _that_. But mostly… you just let me feel like a fucking human again. I don't know what it is, I just know when I'm around you is about the only time I can stand myself. Even fucking now, when I know you hate me. I would rather be near you than away from you. Please Mac, just please let me try and fix this." He looked at her pleadingly, searchingly, trying to figure out what she was thinking. It was more words than he'd used in like, ever, but he had spent a lot of time thinking about this, by Dick standards at least. Once he started, he just couldn't stop and he hoped putting everything out there would convince her that she should forgive him and give him another chance.

"I know you want to fix it, I believe you Dick, I do." She sat back on the couch, doing her best to put some distance between them. "It was never about him with you. I mean, it was, but only because you got it. I didn't have to talk about it, or explain. At least not the why of it. Maybe we could try being friends or something. I don't know. But I just can't be like that with you. I'm sorry but, I mean, how could I ever trust you, you know? How could I ever count on you to be there? I would always be terrified you would just disappear on me. I can't be with someone and feel like that. I'm sorry, I just can't." She stood up from the couch, forcing herself to move away from him. "It shouldn't have to be so hard, right? You really should go," she said, her last words barely audible.

She hated the way he looked at her, his eyes shining with sadness and resignation. He was the one who hurt _her_ , he shouldn't be able to make her feel this way with his sad eyes, his fucking gorgeous sad eyes pouring his heart out on her fucking carpet, like she needed that.

He nodded slowly, finally relenting. "Yeah, ok," he said, standing. He bolted out the door before she could see the tears threatening to break out, jumped in his car and raced home.

Mac settled on the couch, scared of losing the taste of him on her lips to her now cold coffee and the tears that came without restraint.


	13. Chapter 13

_It was brought to my attention that google translate is not 100% accurate (WTF!?) so I updated the title ;D_

* * *

Logan had just grabbed a few donuts from the kitchen and was walking them back to Veronica, who happened to be lying in his bed in a wonderful state of undress, when he saw Dick come in.

"How'd it go, man?" All he got in return was a low grunt as Dick shuffled his way to his room and locked the door.

"That well, then," Logan confirmed with noone.

"Hey babe," he said cautiously, entering the room with breakfast treats displayed. "Maybe you should give Mac a call today, see how she's doing."

"Why would I need to do that?" Veronica asked slowly. "Did something else happen? What aren't you telling me?" She look worried.

"I don't know, I think her and Dick might've had a fight or something. I really don't know anything for sure so please don't make me be a bad friend to Dick and tell you all his shit, just give Mac a call and make sure she's good, ok?"

"Yeah. I can do that. But if he hurt her even you can't protect him from me, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know babe."

* * *

Mac didn't answer the phone the first two times Veronica called, but gave in and picked up on the third one since she knew the detective would just show up at her house if she was ignored any longer.

"Mac? How you doing?"

"Mmmmm… ok," she said unconvincingly, "why?"

"Because I was thinking I should pick up some eggplant lasagna for us and come over to watch bad movies while I totally do not in any way pry into whatever it is that is making you feel so… 'ok'. Oh, and I can bring some wine too?" Mac considered. There was no way she would be able to escape a detailed explanation of what was going on in spite of Veronica's promise not to pry, but truthfully she wasn't sure she wanted to. She felt shitty, and confused, and really isn't that what girl friends were there for? To listen to your relationship woes over comfort food and booze?

"Yeah ok. Come on over."

Veronica picked up dinner and was at Mac's apartment early in the evening with a selection of bad movies. They had barely finished eating before Mac had let the entire drama with Dick unfold for her friend's ears, Veronica's face switching from shocked, to sad, to horrified, to shocked, and so on. Still, Mac was glad to have it off her chest. She didn't realize how much keeping the entire situation a secret had really burdened her. Unfortunately, her relief was short lived.

"Woah Mac, I just can't believe that. You really slept with Dick? I mean, we all make stupid mistakes but… Have you been to the doctor yet? Did he _give_ you anything?!"

"Jesus Veronica he didn't _give_ me anything." Mac rolled her eyes. "It just sucks. I mean I just don't get it."

"What's not to get? Dick's an idiot who will say anything to get a girl in bed and then won't stick around to deal with the aftermath. Are you seriously surprised?" Veronica looked at Mac in confusion.

Mac groaned and leaned into the couch. "It wasn't like that. He just freaked out. I mean, he tried to apologize and even said he wanted to be with me but I just can't… I mean I don't know…" she sighed. "I just don't know if I can forgive him for that."

"Are you serious Mac? We are talking about Dick, right? Dick Casablancas? The same one who was a complete ass to you all through college and high school? The same one that…." Veronica trailed off, looking angry.

"Are _you_ serious Veronica? Why did you even come here, to just make me feel shittier about a shitty situation?"

"Of course not Mac, I just…"

"Just what? Just forgot that your _current_ boyfriend smashed in the headlights of your car in high school? Not to mention Piz's face. And have I ever _once_ given you grief about continuously choosing to be with him?" Mac took a deep breath. "And I know you hate Dick for what happened at Shelly's party, but seriously Veronica, Dick unknowingly drugged you. Logan knowingly drugged Duncan with the same thing. And you can just be in love with Logan and can't even stand to be around Dick?" She paused, regaining her composure. "Look, I'm sorry and I'm not saying you should forgive Dick because all of that was really, really bad. I'm just saying maybe you could forgive me for having feelings for him."

Veronica sat for a moment, processing Mac's words. "I'm really sorry Mac. You're right, I didn't come here to try and make you feel shittier. You are allowed to have feelings for whoever you have feelings for, and you shouldn't have to apologize for it, especially not to your best friend." She reached out and grabbed Mac's hand. "Look, my issues with Dick do not need to be your issues. Whatever you decide to do I will totally be here to support you. And however it turns out, I'm your friend and I am totally on your side."

Mac pulled her into a quick hug. "Thanks," she whispered while tears threatened to break out. "I think… I just don't want to think about it anymore tonight. Maybe it's time for that movie? Something dumb with absolutely no romantic subplot."

"You got it, Q."

* * *

Two days later Dick opened the door to find a petite blonde waiting outside. "Sorry Ronnie, Logan's not here." He started to shut the door.

"Yeah, I know Dick…. I'm here about Mac," she finished softly.

Dick stiffened and walked backwards slowly, covering his manlier parts with his hands. "Seriously Ronnie, if you try to tase me or some shit I will totally have you arrested, I don't give a shit if you and Logan are together or what." He tried to sound commanding but Veronica could see the true fear in his eyes.

"Relax Dick, I'm not here to tase you. Yet." She lifted both her hands to show they were empty while stepping halfway inside the house. "But I am not happy with you Dick. Mac is really upset, and when my friends are upset… well I can get a little pissed off. I have no idea why she would ever want to talk to you again but… she isn't really happy right now." Veronica sighed.

"I don't know what you expect me to do about it, I mean she won't even talk to me. She totally hates me." His look of fear was slowly exchanged for one of utter defeat.

"She doesn't hate you Dick…" Veronica said quietly. "If there is a chance in hell you might hurt her again you need to just walk away and let her deal with it. But… if there isn't… you need to talk to her, tell her that."

"Yeah, what did I just say? I told her, she doesn't care."

"Tell her again. And again after that if you have to. I'm telling _you_ , she does care. So fix it." She turned towards the door to exit, but glanced behind her before pulling the door shut. "And by the way, if you think your stupid threats would stop me from hurting you, you're even dumber than I thought." The door clicked behind her while Dick stood trying to figure out whether he was pissed or thrilled.

* * *

Dick had left three voicemails asking her to go for dinner, meet for coffee, to just call him back, before Mac could finally decide how to respond.

 _Sorry, work has been crazy. Raincheck,_ she texted.

Not exactly the response he wanted, but at least it was a response. He tried tempting her with her favorite lunch joint, a concert he knew she would love, and even a group hangout with Ronnie and Logan, all of which she managed an excuse for.

Most guys would have given up, taken the hint. But Dick was clinging to the hope Veronica had handed him, the hope that Mac still cared but just needed some time. The fact that she responded to him was a sure sign that she hadn't completely written him off, even if it took awhile and was always in the negative.

Also weighing on him was Logan's upcoming departure. He wouldn't ship out for almost a month, but Dick was going to miss his friend and he didn't have much to look forward to unless you counted stalking Mac. One night it hit him - time for a going away party!

Parties always cheered him up, even if it was short lived. Besides, Mac couldn't avoid a going away bash for Logan, right? That would be such clear and utter avoidance Dick would have to assume she wasn't going to change her mind, and at least he would know it was time to back off.

When he mentioned the party idea to Logan his friend was surprised. "Really dude? You know I only give a shit about like, 4 people? Maybe? Do we really need a party? I'm not even leaving for awhile."

"Yeah man, I know, I just… she would come right? I mean, don't you think Mac would come if we had a party?"

"Mmmm." Logan said, unable to deny his friend a little assistance. "Alright."


	14. Chapter 14 (M)

Logan let Dick know he had run the plan by Veronica, who was apparently completely on board and thought it was a great way to get Mac and Dick talking. Dick wasn't sure what to make of that, but he couldn't figure how it was a trap so he kept up the planning. When the night of the event came he was nervous as hell, but was thrilled to see Mac walk in looking amazing. Still, he didn't want to force her hand so he kept his distance, waiting for her to approach him.

Mac was surprised that all she got from Dick upon arrival was a smile and a wave. She had considered how tonight would go many times, and she still had no idea what to say or do with Dick. Everytime she closed her eyes she felt his arms around her, but in the harsh light of day she just didn't have the nerve to make that leap. She had been avoiding him but unwilling to cut ties, dreaming about him but too scared to make it reality.

There was no way she would have gotten away with missing Logan's party, which Veronica had made clear. Honestly she thought it was a little silly since she didn't think Logan even knew half of the people in attendance, and she had only been there forty-five minutes before the couple disappeared from the whole event.

Mac thought about just leaving but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Dick seemed to be just out of reach at all times, either talking to other party goers or messing with some decoration or musical selection. He always acknowledge her but never made a move to talk. She tried to tell herself it was a relief but the feeling creeping up was definitely frustration. In her head seeing him tonight meant they would turn _some_ corner in the relationship, good or bad. She was tired of being in limbo even if it was her own doing.

Eyeing him one more time in the kitchen before stepping outside to escape the crowd, she found herself contemplating once more when to leave. Dick was busy entertaining, Logan and Vee were holed up for the evening no doubt, and Wallace had been stuck to some girl's side all night. She didn't think she had the energy to make new friends so she considered going home and just agreeing to whatever Dick's next outing invitation was, assuming it came. Mac was so busy weighing her options she missed the sound of the door and the added smell of the ocean as Dick approached her.

"Hey," he whispered from behind, startling her slightly. Mac turned and gave him a small smile.

"Hey."

He walked closer to her. "Thanks for coming. You look… nice." He struggled not to let any of the more descriptive terms he was thinking of pass his lips.

"Thanks," Mac replied shyly. She seemed to be having a hard time coming up with multi-word responses now that she was in his presence.

"I've been wanting to tell you that all night. But I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me." He frowned.

"Oh. I did. I mean, I do I just… you looked pretty busy every time I saw you."

Dick smiled. "Not too busy for you. I mean, I only threw this stupid party to see you so…."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you did all this just to see me." Mac rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"Yeah," Dick replied seriously. "I mean I figured if it was just a small group you would bail but if it was a party you could hide from me if you wanted and it would be harder for you to get out of it and Ronnie said it was a good idea so you know…" She looked so surprised Dick thought he should backpedal. "I mean, I wasn't trying to trick you or anything I just wanted to see you."

"Oh. So you and Veronica are like teaming up on me now?" Dick couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she didn't seem mad.

"No, it's just… well she seems to think that if I just keep telling you how fucking sorry I am and that I miss you and that I want to be with you, then maybe you would listen. And I'm really sorry Mac, I just hate not seeing you and not talking to you and stuff. So maybe, if you still want to talk to me or whatever, maybe we could do that?" She nodded, not trusting her voice. "Wanna go sit on the beach and get away from this shit?" he asked, nodding toward the access path.

"Sure."

Dick grabbed a blanket he kept by the beach path and laid it out when they reached the now empty beach. They sat in silence staring at the night sky for a few minutes.

"The beach is so much better at night," Mac finally chimed in, leaning back to look at the few stars that were visible in spite of the nearby city lights.

"Mmm…" Dick murmured, not quite agreeing but not willing to argue with her on any point right now. "Stars are cool. Do you think there are like, aliens out there on any of them? Like maybe some super sophisticated ones that have all this shit figured out? I feel like that would be cool, if somebody out there has a fucking clue, you know?"

"Well, there are a lot of theories on alien life. Some people think it must be out there, and others question why we haven't seen it yet. It's possible we are too early in the timeline of the universe for there to be as many aliens as would be needed to ensure we met, or maybe life is less common… I don't know, a lot of people have ideas on it. But I think it's pretty unlikely they would live on a star," she finished with a smirk.

Dick was staring at her blankly. "You make my brain hurt," he said with a laugh.

Mac's smile faded and she looked back out to the ocean. "You make my heart hurt."

Dick wasn't sure what to do with her sudden willingness to have this talk with him. "Mac…" he whispered slowly. When she didn't respond he tentatively put his hand on her back and began rubbing soft circles into her skin. Much to his surprise she leaned back into him, resting her head on his chest. Dick moved his legs so they encircled her, and brought his arms around her front to pull her closer to him. She still didn't speak, but she also didn't resist.

He nuzzled into her neck, his mouth inches from her ear. "Does this help at all?" he whispered, giving her a light squeeze.

"Maybe. A little bit. A tiny little atomic bit." Dick guffawed quietly.

"Ok. So we can just stay like this for like, I don't know, ever? I would be cool with that." His fingers ran up and down her arms giving her goosebumps. His lips grazed her neck underneath her earlobes. Mac sighed as on hand strayed from her arm to run over her bare knee and thigh. "Is this helping?"

"Mmmmhmmm," she managed, her eyes closed and her body focused on the light touches.

" _Not_ being with you is what's so fucking hard." He kissed her neck and ran his hand farther up her leg, under the hem of her dress. She responded with a light moan. Whatever anger had been holding her back, whatever barriers kept her from forgiving him had started to fade with her conversation with Veronica. Every day was a battle not to call him, not to show up at his door and throw her arms around him while telling him she forgave him. That last bit of fear that he couldn't be the guy she wanted him to be had melted away in his arms, and now she surrendered fully to her desire to be with him.

"Oh, I can think of other things..." she whispered, rocking her body back into his. She felt his smile on her cheek, and he spun her just enough capture her lips in his, darting his tongue back and forth, kissing as though they had all the time in the world.

Dick eventually pulled back, his hand gripping her thigh tightly. "This is for real, right? I mean, it's not just... You want to be with me for real, like tomorrow and the next day, and the next day and shit, right?" He said it as though he was simply confirming the obvious, but Mac could see the trace of fear in his eyes.

"Yes. For real. Can we continue now? Maybe… inside?" She gave him a seductive smile.

"Oh, but I thought we could give those aliens a show," he said with a grin as his fingers slid up to her panties, finding them moist.

"I'm more concerned about the humans 30 feet away from us."

"Well, we can give them a show too." He saw a dark look cross her face as she caught her breath, and he knew his joking implication of someone watching had turned her on. He slipped his fingers under her panties to find she was incredibly juicy, her pelvis rocking as it sought out much needed friction. He easily entered her with one finger, his other hand moving to her breast to massage it through her cotton dress. He pumped inside her a few times before adding a second finger, using his thumb to rub her clit. Her legs fell open as her body seem to liquify under his touch, and knowing that they were on an open beach where anyone could walk by seemed to be pushing her to the edge faster than she would have thought.

Dick gently sucked on her bottom lip while gradually speeding up the pumping action of his fingers inside of her, pulling the tips forward until he found the spot that drove her mad. He picked up the intensity on his clitoral stimulation and pulled back slightly to look into her hooded eyes. Gently pinching her nipple with his other hand he felt her body start to shake with her impending orgasm. He could tell she was trying to hold back the full volume of her moans but he knew anyone near the beach access entrance would definitely be able to hear her, which just caused him to get harder. After her orgasm peaked she relaxed again into his arms, his hands stroking her lightly as he trailed his lips across her cheek.

"I'm starting to think exciting things can happen anywhere," she said breathlessly with a smirk.

"With you and me babe, they definitely will."

* * *

 _Thanks so much for the reviews! I hope you enjoyed this addition to the MaDi verse._


	15. Epilogue (M)

_So, apparently I like writing Mac and Dick getting together (complete with angst, festering and smut!) way more than the aftermath. But I did a short fluffy (and smutty) epilogue for you guys. Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

"Shit. Shit. Ohshitohshitohshit!"

Veronica rushed over to Mac. "Are you serious?! I TOLD you he would give you something you would need to see a doctor for!" She pushed around her to see the small stick Mac was holding, then sighed heavily. "That's the control line you dumdum. Not the baby line. Have you never done this before?" She walked back to the bed while Mac looked back and forth between her and the stick, dumbfounded.

"No. I've always been really careful." Mac walked slowly to the bed next to Veronica and then sat down, frowning slightly at the negative strip in her hand.

"Well, you said you just got your IUD switched right? Maybe that's why you're off." Her eyes narrowed as she judged her friend's demeanor. "You're not… I mean, you didn't… you aren't disappointed, right?! I mean you guys so do _not_ need a baby right now!" Veronica gasped. "Possibly ever. Him not you," she clarified.

"No, of course not," Mac looked up shaking her head vehemently. "Definitely not disappointed, just.. I don't know. _He_ is definitely going to be disappointed though."

"Gross."

Mac rolled her eyes, almost a year had passed since Logan's going away bash and she didn't think Veronica would ever get used to the idea of her and Dick as a serious couple. "Vee, do you realize how many times Dick has proposed to me in the last year?"

"Double gross. Please tell me you are not considering saying yes!" Her eyes were only half playful. Veronica knew Dick was head over heels for her bestie, but he was just always around. Always.

"Thirteen times. He even had a ring the last two times! Different boxes. And don't ask me what was in them because I refused to even open them."

"You didn't answer the question, Q. Or should I say, _Mrs. Cindy Casablancas_." She said the last party in her girliest whisper and made some kissy faces.

"Absolutely not. To the name and the question. Absolutely not."

* * *

"Absolutely! Oh my god Dick, yes, of course. How could I say no to this?"

Dick squeezed Mac excitedly and spun her around. "Awesome, babe. This is gonna be awesome."

Mac looked around her new office, which Dick had surprised her with. Two walls were covered in windows but had some serious blinds for when she wanted to block out the sun. Her multiple monitors sat upon a fancy desk that moved up and down at the touch of a button so she could stand or sit. He had even had a new sink installed that sat next to her overpriced but totally amazing coffee maker so she could easily reload as needed.

Saying yes to moving in had been easy, Mac had basically been living at the beach house for the last two months anyway. She had been away with her parents camping for a week (Dick had conveniently managed an excuse), and he must have had a crew working 24/7 to get the room prepared in her absence. Now she had her own space and it could really begin to feel like home!

"Just one thing, babe." Mac looked at him questioningly, waiting for the catch. "We gotta break it in before you get all your expensive crap in here and you won't ever let me come bother you."

Mac laughed. "Yeah, we better do that soon."

Dick smiled like a kid at Christmas. He looked over at her work table and saw that it only held some pencils and a few instruction manuals, which he dramatically swept to the floor before pushing her up against it, his mouth slamming into hers.

"Mmmm, or right now then," she mumbled into his mouth. His hands ran down the length of her back and over her ass, fiddling with the hem of her skirt. He was so glad she wore so many skirts.

"You like your new desk, Ms. Mackenzie?"

"Oh, yes sir, Mr. Casablancas, it is first rate. A girl would do a lot of things for a nice desk like this."

Dick's cock shot to attention. "Mmmm, well I only need you to do one." He quickly flipped her over and pushed her down gently. "Bend over."

Mac giggled as he pushed her skirt up and ran his fingers along her slit, finding her wet. He pulled her panties to the floor where she kicked them off.

"Oh, Ms. Mackenzie, it seems you forgot something. Did you come to the office without anything under that dress? You naughty, naughty, computer science-y genius girl. How's the mail boy gonna get any work done with you looking like that? Tell you what. I've just got one package to deliver and then I will let you get back to work." He pushed himself into her, slowly at first and then rocking gently while massaging her luscious buttocks.

"Mmmm, Mr. Casablancas, I've been waiting for this package all day! Could you give it to me a little faster? Mmm… just. like. that." Her playful talk slowly digressed into real moans.

"So demanding when I brought you such a nice delivery! Where are your manners?" With that he spanked her right ass cheek with a _pop_ and she gave a pleasantly surprised yelp. He leaned over to kiss her neck and grabbed a handful of her hair, squeezing lightly while massaging her ass where it smarted. This was too much for her.

"Mmmmmmyeah, I'm coming baby. Come inside me, I want to feel you come inside me!"

"Yes, ma'am." Dick quickly gave in to her request, holding her tightly and caressing her breast for a few moments afterward as she finished yet again.

Mac sighed contentedly and walked over to the futon he had included so that she could think or have cat naps comfortably while working. She pushed the button to lower the shades and then fell onto the cushions.

"That will be all mail boy. I'll let you know when I'm ready for my next delivery."

Dick laughed and squeezed onto the futon beside her. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.

"I know."


End file.
